


Wrong Number

by DropsOfJupiterOnARavenclaw



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bisexual Alexander Hamilton, Boys Kissing, Coming Out, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gay John Laurens, Henry Laurens' A+ Parenting, Homophobic Henry Laurens, Human Disaster Alexander Hamilton, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Pre-Relationship, Public Display of Affection, Slow Burn, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-03-15 11:37:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 42,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13612557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DropsOfJupiterOnARavenclaw/pseuds/DropsOfJupiterOnARavenclaw
Summary: Alex wants to call Laf but accidentally calls Jefferson instead, they end up screaming at each other. He keeps calling Jefferson to annoy him when he had a bad day. John is Jeffersons roommate, he overhears the angry phone call. At first he thinks its the funniest thing ever, but soon realises that the strangers political opinions match his own perfectly. They meet and decide to start fake dating to further annoy Thomas. And so the chaos begins. (lots of pining with some fluff)





	1. 1

He couldn't believe that had actually just happened, he had accidentally phoned Jefferson instead of Lafayette.  
And of course, his annoying classmate had to make a snide remark about him not even being able to use a phone.

And of course, he had answered in an equally sarcastic voice.  
Soon they were arguing loudly about anything and everything, both too stubborn to just hang up. It went on till they were both screaming in anger and not listening to a word the other was saying, until Jefferson eventually did have enough and ended the call.

Alex strangely felt a bit better after that, he had had a horrible day and winning an argument against Jefferson was just what he had needed. After a short moment of consideration, he changed Jefferson's contact name in his phone to "asshole #1" a name which he thought suited Jefferson well.

He decided that he might do that again on purpose, next time he was angry or had a lot to say he'd call Jefferson. Probably not the smartest idea he ever had but it did get rid of his aggression. It also probably annoyed the hell out of Jefferson so that was another plus.

Eventually, he did call Lafayette and convinced him to meet at their favorite place, a cafe slash bar called 'the Rochambeau', for a pint or two. Obviously, he had to tell his friend everything about that strange encounter with Jefferson.

(Meanwhile)

John Laurens hadn't expected this evening to be much fun. He had been sitting in the living room of the flat he shared with one Thomas Jefferson, as he worked on a project for his art class. Or at least that was what he had done until he heard his roommate pick up the ringing phone, and loud arguing shortly after.

He felt sorry for whoever was on the other side of the line, really. John didn't actually care much about who that idiot had gotten into a fight with now. Not until it suddenly sounded like Jefferson was losing the argument. That hadn't happened before. At least not when he was around.

He and Jefferson didn't agree on anything at all, especially not on politics. And politics seemed to be what the argument Jefferson was losing was about. John grinned, the evening proved to be way more entertaining than he'd expected.

He tried to focus on his hyper-realistic drawing of a chameleon again and frowned. It just didn't look the way he wanted it to.

John simply had to listen up when a minute later he heard a very angry voice shout through the phone; "equal rights include everybody you absolute moron, do you even realize what you just said? Of fucking course am I pro-feminism everybody should be. Equality, as in the same rights for all people, no matter their gender, religion, heritage or sexuality. What point are you even trying to make? That's low, even for you Jefferson. Using the word feminist as an insult I can't believe you..."

The voice didn't stop there, it seemed like the man who was talking had only just begun and had a lot more to say. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop but after the first sentence, he simply couldn't not listen. It had been way too long since he last spoke to somebody who shared his political views. John had given up talking about politics with Jefferson, that always lead to his roommate looking down on him like a little kid who didn't know any better. He really didn't need that.

John actually had extremely precise opinions on most matters but stupidly wasn't all too good at articulating them most of the time. The person Jefferson was talking to on the other hand had an incredible way with words, twisting whatever Jefferson said to his own advantage. The man never seemed to run out of things to say either. The insults thrown in between just added to Johns amusement.

John couldn't help but admire the stranger, who was so eloquently putting the believes they shared in words in a way he could only dream of. Everything John liked and agreed with out of the mans speech seemed to be another thing that made Jeffersons anger rise. Thomas was furious at this point and unwilling to consider anything his opponent said.

John smiled, the idiot had clearly lost that argument. He didn't think he'd ever seen Jefferson out of words before but that was the case. Jefferson seemed to have come to the same conclusion. He hung up without another word and all but threw the phone on the kitchen table. He let out a frustrated huff as he went to sit down in the living room.

His roommate lightly massaged his temples while mumbling under his breath about uncultured people at college and how he shouldn't ever give anybody this number ever again. John on the other hand would have liked to listen to the guy on the phone for a little longer and quietly hoped he'd call again. His evening certainly had improved significantly.

Nonetheless, he forced himself to look down at his work and tried not to smile too noticeably. Provoking a fight with Jefferson when he was in that kind of a foul mood wouldn't do any good for him. Of course it didn't work, it never worked.

"Care to let me know whats so funny?", Jefferson snapped.

John sighed, he wasn't about to lie concerning his opinions so he answered truthfully but with caution; "Not exactly funny, well, maybe a little... It's just that whoever that was you were talking to, managed to put everything in words that I've been thinking but couldn't get out."

Jefferson glared at him and didn't look like he was about to say anything.

John took his chance and continued; "Look, I'm not trying to insult you.I'm just wondering if you've ever seriously considered some of the things he said? About equality and stuff I mean."

John waited for a reply, increasingly unsure about his choice of words and wondering whether he'd be kicked out any second. Jefferson obviously had had enough for that night.

"Then I better go and think about all the bullshit Hamilton has said since I first met him. If somebody with as much political background as you says so, I don't have a choice, do I?"

The words were practically dripping with sarcasm and sharp anger. Jefferson kept glaring at him until John eventually decided to retreat to his room and finish his work there.

(2 weeks later)

Laf had obviously told Alex to just drop it and not call that guy again and just as obviously Alex hadn't listened to him.  
At this point, he called Jefferson almost on daily basis.

At first, Jefferson had gone along with it, but by now he kept hanging up on him after 10 minutes at most. He knew it was unlikely this would go on for much longer. He called again anyway.

(Johns pov)

The angry caller was his favorite part of the day, he actually looked forward to it. Jefferson didn't. With growing dismay, he thought about how the calls kept getting shorter and shorter. John was once again seated in the living room, while he worked he kept glancing up at the clock.

The call usually came at around 8 pm, any minute from now. Sure enough, the phone started ringing not even half a minute later. He grinned, as he waited for his roommate to answer the phone.

Jefferson showed no sign of even thinking about taking the call. He had to do something, anything, he thought with growing panic,

"Aren't you going to pick it up?" John asked as innocently as possible.

Jeffersons answer was a firm "no" without any explanation.  
He wouldn't admit it later but in that moment John felt his stomach drop a little. Jefferson didn't even look up from the book he was reading as he said; "Why don't you get it, if it's that important to you? Have fun being yelled at."

There was no way John could let Jefferson win this, so he gathered his courage and got up. Jefferson looked at him with not so subtle surprise, he hadn't expected that.

With a slightly shaking hand John grabbed the phone and accepted the call.  
Good thing he was so goddamn nosy or else he wouldn't have. "Hello?" Was all he got to say before the stranger interrupted him. Normally he'd consider that horribly rude, but he didn't blame the guy since he thought he was talking to Jefferson.

He listened silently for a minute, Jefferson still glaring at him from across the room.  
Then he spoke up; "Do you care to have a real discussion or do you want to ramble on without any sense for a bit longer?"

That had definitely been unexpected for the caller, who immediately went quiet.


	2. Chapter 2

"Wait, you're not the asshole?" He sounded so startled that John couldn't help but laugh.

"No, I'm not, I happen to be the guy who got unlucky enough to be his roommate. My name is John Laurens." At that Jefferson tried to fling one of the couches pillows at his head, but he dodged it and kept talking, "I overheard some parts of your discussions, the yelled parts to be more specific. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, honestly. But I do have to say that it was rather amusing. I also happen to agree with pretty much everything I heard you say."

He heard the other man chuckle, "I didn't think any sane person could stand living with that guy. My name is Alexander Hamilton, you can call me Alex. It's a pleasure talking to you."

Johns' eyes went wide, "oh I should have guessed that's you. Jefferson comes home ranting about one of your arguments every day. It's actually quite funny. You should have seen him after your last phone call, absolutely fuming with rage. I wish I could get him that angry but he mostly just ignores me. And he's still somewhat listening right now so now he's glaring at me. I got what I wanted then. Oh god, I'm babbling sorry. Anyway, everyone he dislikes is granted to be someone I would like. Since he seems to absolutely hate you, I was wondering if you'd care to meet me for a pint or two sometime soon?"

Alex answered right away, "that would be nice but I have to warn you, I get political after two pints." John smiled, this had played out a lot better than he had expected it to. "I don't mind, I enjoy listening to your political speeches", he said lightheartedly. In an afterthought he added more seriously, "I should probably hang up now or Jefferson is gonna murder me. Call again, will you?"

Alex answered right away, "Don't hang up, please," was all he said, and John noticed what a nice voice he had when he wasn't angrily yelling. With one look at Jefferson, he sighed. He would have to leave the apartment for an hour or two if he pissed him off even more. Since it probably was too late to change that now anyway he all to willingly gave in and kept talking to Alex.

John couldn't remember when exactly Jefferson had left the room. It must have been at least two hours ago, they talked for about three and it was almost midnight. It was the happiest both young men had felt in a long time. When they finally ended their call it wasn't because they were done talking for the day. They simply had decided that on a Friday night, midnight wasn't too late to meet up.

John was frantically searching through his closet to find something presentable to wear. He had no idea what he should pick out, it was late but they weren't meeting at a club, the Rochambeau was more of a 24-hour cafe. Should he dress like he would for a date? His thoughts screeched to a halt. Was this a date? He had no clue but he almost desperately wanted it to be one.

They had agreed to meet at 00:30, in front of the cafe. Once he found something to wear he hurried to the kitchen to get his key and jacket which was slung over a chair. But just leaving like that would have been too easy. When he turned to leave, Jefferson stood in the doorway to block him.

"A bit late to go out isn't it?" There was a sharp edge to his voice that instantly made John alert. He really had had enough of his roommates shit for today, he decided. "I don't see why that's any of your business", he bit back. Jefferson scoffed and didn't budge the slightest. "Had a nice long chat with that Hamilton asshole, didn't you?"

The question was so obviously rhetorical, he probably shouldn't have answered, but did so anyway; "If you need to know, yes, for once you're right about something. We talked for three hours straight", he replied with a smug look on his face. Thomas clenched his jaw, "If you really have to waste your time with that guy that's your thing but where the hell are you going?"Jefferson was clearly still pissed off.

To end the discussion he put his answer as short and firmly as he could, "To meet him, and don't call him asshole", with that, he finally pushed past Thomas and left.

"What, like for a date? It's the middle of the night. Even if it wasn't, I didn't think you'd have such low standards Laurens." Even though he had heard the drawled words clearly, John didn't bother to answer again. He knew that the comment about this being a date was meant to get a rise out of him. Still, there were many levels on which he undoubtedly would enjoy telling Jefferson that it was in fact, a date. On days like this Thomas was a riddle to him. What did he get out of annoying John like that?

The cool air was just what he had needed to calm down a bit, and get his focus back on Alex. He put his hands in his pockets and pulled up his shoulders as the chilly night air blew in his face. Walking through the dark city had its own kind of charm, he thought. It was mostly quiet in the old part of town he was at and the sky was clear.

Soon enough he reached the center with its flashing lights and noise. By the time he saw the Rochambeau appear in front of him it was exactly two minutes before their agreed time and he was freezing.

Five minutes later a young man hurried his way, he seemed to have come from the opposite direction as John. Could that possibly be him? John wondered as he looked at the approaching man, who as he now saw was undeniably good looking. He blushed slightly and once more hoped that this actually was a date.

The mans eyes seemed to scan the street in front of the Rochambeau and came to a halt when he looked at John. They locked eyes and John was greeted with a wide smile. A sincere smile like he hadn't seen it in a long time. Automatically he smiled back and walked towards him.

"You must be Alex? Nice to meet you in person," he said and it sounded a lot shyer than he had wanted it to. Alex grinned at him, "We just talked on the phone for about, what was it? Three hours? I think we can skip the formalities, my dear Laurens. Let's go in there." Alex wasn't having any of his shyness and right away started talking as if they had known each other for many years. Strangely enough, that was what it felt like too. It wasn't like talking to a stranger at all.

Once they had settled in a booth in a small corner of the cafe and ordered their drinks they fell right back in conversation where they had left of. While they were talking John took the time to look at Alex more closely. Alex had long dark brown hair which he wore tied back, and his eyes always seemed to glow with mischief or the brilliance of a new idea. John silently admired him.

So far they had talked about politics, their families, what classes they were majoring in, how much they both hated Jefferson and what they liked to do in their free time. John had learned that Alex originally came from the Caribbean but after his father left and his mother died he had to provide his living himself. He had ended up with several jobs and eventually wrote an essay for a local newspaper. It was that essay that got him enough attention from the locals for them to help him raise funds and get away. That's how he came to America on his own when he was fourteen. The whole story was so impressive and unbelievable, it sounded like the plot to a good book or movie, possibly even musical. What a strange musical that would be....

Alex eventually got adopted by the Schuyler family since he was still a minor at the time. He was now nineteen and had a full scholarship at Princeton. He was amazed at how much Alex had experienced and how he'd fought his way up, but also sorry about his familiar situation.

Alex quickly waved him off and explained that he was more than happy with his family. The Schuyler girls Angelica, Eliza and Peggy were like sisters to him. He even said that meeting them alone made everything else worth it. In return, John told him about his family and life in South Carolina. How well he got along with his mother and siblings but only ever argued with his homophobic, sexist, racist idiot father.

Eventually they figured out that Alex's sister Peggy in one of Johns art classes was. His other sister, Eliza, was in his social studies class, and his best friend Lafayette was in Johns Latin course. Laf and John even regularly met up to study together. "How on earth haven't we met before?" John asked aloud. "I think I saw you in the hallway every now and then", Alex mused, "But I get what you mean, we seem to already share the same friend circle and yet it took Jefferson of all people for us to meet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wanted to post this next week but the comments on the first chapter were so nice I decided to post it now


	3. Chapter 3

"Don't remind me of Jefferson, I have no idea how I'm going to get past him tomorrow without one of us killing the other." John looked down at the table with resignation, "he almost wouldn't let me leave tonight." Alex reached for Johns hand, which made Johns' eyes dart up again and his heart beat a little faster. He looked into Alex eyes and wondered if it had been an unconscious gesture.

They were still holding hands when Alex spoke up, "You're joking, right? What do you mean by he wouldn't let you leave?" John wasn't sure how he should answer, and still distracted by the hand holding his own. Eventually he said, "I guess Jefferson kind of likes me? I don't know, seems like he does sometimes. And he obviously doesn't think too highly of you, which I think is a compliment for your personality, really. Anyway, when I was just about to leave he tried to block the doorway and started questioning me. Not without some insults thrown in between of course. He was super angry because we had talked for so long and got along so well. When I told him I was going to meet you after we had just talked for three hours straight, he wasn't happy to say the least. He even asked me if this was a date..."

Alex blushed noticeably, "what did you tell him?" he asked. John avoided his gaze, "I didn't answer. God I'd like to see his face if I got back home and told him that this has actually been a date," he chuckled at the thought. Alex looked like he was trying to solve a difficult problem and about to find a brilliant solution. John hadn't known him for long but something told him that whatever Alex said next was going to get them both in a horrible mess. He also already knew that he would go along with whatever it was anyway. He took another sip of his drink as he waited for Alex to say something.

"Care to help me mess with Jefferson? There have to be some things you want to get payback for, right?" Alex looked unsure and nervous but when John didn't interrupt him he continued, "You could stay over at my place for the night? Only if you actually want to of course. We can watch a movie or two and you can stay in the guest bedroom. Tomorrow I'll give you some of my clothes and bring you back to your place. Let Thomas make his own wrong assumptions. Laf won't mind, he always has friends staying over too. But if that would mean too much trouble with the douche for you, you really don't have to," he trailed off and suddenly seemed really unsure like he was about to take it all back.

John wouldn't let him, "Sounds good to me, any idea what movie we're gonna watch?" he tried to push the conversation in a different direction just in case Alex was already regretting his idea. He wouldn't have needed to worry about that. As soon as he had assured him that he would like to put on that little act with him the mischievous glint was back in Alex' eyes. Alex dove right into planning every little detail to make them believable as a couple and it soon became clear to John that this advanced prank would go on for more than a few days. He was looking forward to it.

Half an hour later he found himself at Alex place on the couch watching the first Harry Potter movie. They had explained the situation to Laf who. Once Laf had gotten over his surprise, questioned their sanity several times and laughed his ass off over how John and Alex had met in the first place, he simply shook his head and went with it.

Laf didn't mind as much as he would have a few month ago but it wasn't his roommates first insane idea and he had gotten used to it. Lafayette had told them he still had work for school to do and retreated to his room. Only to come back out five minutes later when he heard the Harry Potter theme song play.

John had seen that movie hundreds of times before and so had Alex and Laf but it didn't matter. They all had fun and took turns in randomly saying the lines along with the characters. Somewhere around the second half of the film John and Alex had shifted closer to one another on the couch. When the end credits began John had his head rested comfortably on Alex shoulder who in turn had wrapped his arm around John. Laf smiled at them knowingly but didn't bother to say anything. The three of them ended up discussing the differences between book and movie and which Hogwarts houses they'd be in.

They started the second movie shortly after. Sometime in the early morning when the second film had ended Lafayette, who had plans for that day, announced he needed at least a few hours of sleep and left the room. John and Alex stayed in their position, cuddled up on the couch, too warm and comfortable to get up. Eventually, they both fell asleep.

The next morning it took John a moment to remember where he was and why. He stretched and looked at Alex who was still cuddle up with him and seemed to be waking up as well. This, he thought, was what a perfect morning looked like. It got even better when he saw Alex smiling at him reluctantly. John didn't dare to say anything or get up because he didn't want to be the first to break their closeness.

After a while of just laying together, Alex sighed quietly and brought a bit of distance between them as he pulled himself up into more of a sitting position. "Good morning my dearest, Laurens. As much as I enjoy this situation we will have to get up at some point, you know?" Alex spoke softly in still morning raspy voice and carefully stroked one of Johns locks behind his ear. "Do we really have to?"John mumbled but got up nonetheless. Alex still had that smile on his face as he said, "I'll get some of my clothes for you, the bathroom is down the hallway first door left."

He was back almost a minute later and handed John what he had picked out. "Should be pretty obvious that these are mine" he said, sounding satisfied. John took the clothes, "thank you, what time is it by the way? We should be at my place before 11:00 am if we want our plan to work. Jefferson usually leaves at that time to meet Madison and some others. He'll think I just overslept if he doesn't hear me enter our flat." Alex grabbed his phone, checked the time and immediately let it fall back down on the sofa. John watched with a confused expression as Alex darted back to what must be his room. "It's 10:30", Alex yelled and that was every explanation needed. John promptly set in motion and tried to get his thoughts straight as he hurried to get changed.

10 minutes later they both were in Alex car with still slightly messy hair but on time. "Thanks for letting me stay over, I really enjoyed spending time with you," John said. "So did I" Alex replied, and then added, "Do you think we could have breakfast together? I know this super nice small cafe not far from here, they have the best coffee in town." John considered the offer shortly. He knew that he wanted to have breakfast with Alex, but he didn't see how that would fit into their plan of messing with Thomas.

Alex seemed to have read his mind, "you could make it look like you're just getting something. Make it clear that I'm waiting for you, make sure he makes the wrong conclusions we set up and get the hell out of there before any of this backfires." John grinned, "Sounds like a plan to me. And it certainly doesn't have a thing to do with you wanting to catch a glimpse at Jeffersons face when I drop the bomb, right? Tell me Alex, how many times have you done something like this already?"

Alex chuckled, "I might have been involved in some more advanced pranks," he admitted, "and you directly saw through me with the other thing as well. I'd love to see that arrogant idiot when he realizes what's going on. You seem to be pretty good at that by the way, seeing through me, I mean." Alex blushed as he spoke but John didn't notice, he was way to caught up in his thoughts.

"I don't see why you shouldn't get to be there for the fun. Just come inside with me, we'll have to run into him," John mused. Alex checked the address John had given him, "We should be there any second. Are you sure he wouldn't be too angry about that? I wouldn't care but I don't want to get you in trouble. How are we gonna do this anyway? For how long? I could pretend to date you all year long, I like you a lot, and this is fun. I also have no intentions of actually dating anybody anytime soon."


	4. Chapter 4

-But I get if you don't want to fool around for this long so it's really up to you" Alex ended with a sly smirk on his face, while Johns smile had lost its life. The nearing prospect of annoying the hell out of Jefferson wasn't enough to distract John from the underlying message in Alex's words. That was the clearest Alex could have been about not wanting to actually date him. John ignored the unhappiness swelling in his stomach and quickly without thinking agreed to everything Alex said. Including that they might as well fake date for the whole year. Shit.

Alex seemed to be surprised but not in a bad way. He immediately began planning what would be necessary to pull this off for as long as possible. They agreed that it would be best to act like a couple in college as well. Since they didn't share any classes they'd just have to meet in every break from now on, easy enough. The difficult part would be to convince their friends and everybody else on campus.

John looked at his new found friend and suddenly thought that it wouldn't be difficult at all to act in love with him. Alex was intelligent, good-looking and kind, they also had the same humor and taste in books. He genuinely liked Alex, much more than he liked anybody else. As Alex parked his car, a blue Volvo S90, in front of Johns place, he decided that that was something to dwell on another time.

"Showtime," John mumbled as he climbed out of the passenger seat. "Wait what is our game plan for now exactly?" He said more audibly. Alex couldn't have come across more confident, "improvise and don't worry, I'll lead you", he said with a smug grin on his face. They walked towards the entrance door, Alex reached for Johns' hand and entwined their fingers before John let them inside.

They were standing in the hallway and could hear steps coming close along with somebody cursing about not finding their keys. John took a deep breath before he loudly closed the door and called, "You left them in the kitchen again. On the counter." His statement was met with silence at first, and then; "It's almost 11 am, where the hell have you been? I thought you were still asleep." Thomas sounded surprised but not shocked, he hadn't counted one and one together yet and John was waiting for the big realization. He didn't have to wait long due to Alex who decided to speed up the process, "He was with me."

Jefferson chose that exact moment to also enter the hallway, he looked at them with utter disbelieve. In the blink of a moment, his shock was gone and replaced by an unreadable, grim expression. His eyes were flashing with angry irritation, he had gone pale and his jaw was clenched. John had to admit that it was quite funny, and thinking back to the many times his roommate had made fun of him for his politic views it was deserved as well. Alex agreed, judging by how he beamed with joy. Thomas still hadn't gotten over what he saw. He tried to analyze the situation as quickly as possible and failed miserably. Finally his eyes fell on their hands.

"You've only known each other since yesterday for god's sake!" he exclaimed. "So?" they answered in unison. Alex couldn't leave it at that, he flashed Thomas his widest smile, "I really do have to thank you, if it wasn't for your ignorance, which made a wonderful icebreaker by the way, I would still be a sad single like you. I am so glad I got to meet John, he is the best thing that could have happened to me," to top it all of he spoke the last part convincingly sappy and leaned closer to John.

If he can do this so can I, John thought and spoke up; "I guess this is what fallen on the first sight feels like. Thomas, all those times you talked about him and your debates you never mentioned how good looking he is. I would have asked you for his number ages ago if I'd known," he turned his head to face Alex and found them to be only separated by inches. "Ohh, you're just too cute," Alex said adoringly and leaned in to kiss him chastely. John simply let it happen. His mind stuttered and slowed, all his senses only cared about Alex and nothing else in the world. The feeling that flooded him was indescribable and he kept his eyes firmly closed.

It was over sooner than he wanted it to be. As a matter of fact he could spend hours kissing Alex and seperating would still feel to soon. If he'd seen it coming he might have stopped Alex or atleast his rational self would have told him to. For all it was worth he was glad that he hadn't had to make that choice. He had trouble focusing on what was going on after Alex broke the admittedly short contact of lips. John looked away from Alex still telling himself he'd figure out his feelings later, and saw Thomas coming closer.

"What is wrong with the two of you? You can't not jump into something headfirst ever, can you? One phone call and an evening at a bar together and now you're dating? This is ridiculous even for the two of you," his southern accent came through more with every word. Alex stayed completly calm as he replied, "Taking in account that that phone call was about three hours long and we didn't spend one evening at a bar together but a whole night at my place and some time at a bar, I think it is fair to say that we know eachother as well as other couples after about three dates. Not that you would know much about dates, how long has it been since your last relationship ended? Half a year? So the joke is on you buddy. I mean you can't stand us, but since you're responsible for us meeting you'll now have to deal with both of us at the same time and twice as often."

John wished he could start laughing at Jefferson then and there and it took a big deal of self control not to. Thomas seemed unsure how to answer to that as reality was crashing down on him, "Wait a second, what did he mean with 'a whole night at his place'," he asked John while pointing at Alex accusingly. That was when he finally noticed Johns clothes. Or rather Alexs clothes on John.

For a moment John thought his roommate was going to faint, but Jefferson had himself together quicker this time, he turned to Alex, "What are you here for anyway? Bringing your date back home are more manners than I'd have expected from you but bringing him back inside is a bit much don't you think? Doorstep is common place, but you couldn't know that, that would require more than superficial cultural knowledge," his snobby tone was back in place.

"Good to see we didn't permanently scare the shallow attitude off of you. I'm not bringing him home." Alex looked at John who instantly took over. "I just wanted to get some books I told him about. We're actually headed to get coffee together. I'd ask you if you want to join us but I actually prefer you not being anywhere near us, so...." John could hear Thomas mumble the word "funny" under his breath.

John let go of Alex hand and went to his room. As soon as the other two were out of sight he began rushing as if his life depended on the very second. John didn't want to come across worried in front of Jefferson, but he couldn't help the feeling that leaving these two alone for too long wouldn't lead to anything good. Luckily he kept his room pretty organised. He did so mainly out of fear Jefferson would be snooping around and make fun of his mess of a room. What counted was that it helped him this time around. The books he had discussed with Alex which he now carefully plucked from his shelf were a colorful mix of different generes.

'A tale of two cities' by Charles Dickens, a collection of the original Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle and '101 ways to survive human interaction' were among them. There were two more books which caught his eye that he knew Alex hadn't read yet. He had only briefly mentioned them before, they were kind of his guilty reading pleasure. He stuck with the thought, he could trust Alex.

Alexander would never make fun of him for his taste in books, he was sure of it. Reluctantly he picked up his copies of 'the fault in our stars' by John Green and 'the perks of being a wallflower' by Stephen Chbosky. Two outstandingly good books, in his opinion. He packed them on the small stack and made sure that the titles of these two were facing his chest.


	5. Chapter 5

John carefully closed the door of his room behind him and hurried back. He was half convinced that he didn't own another book Alex hadn't read as well, and it made him like Alex even more. People with the same taste in books always made good conversation partners. Almost the same taste, in their case. If it went how he hoped it would, however, and Alex liked the two books, that would just further proof how well they fitted together. It made John feel the slightest bit uncomfortable and vulnerable to willingly offer these books to Alex.

A mean nagging voice in the back of his head asked how he'd react if Alex hated them.  
John quickly silenced that voice, thinking; if he hates them then so be it. We can't have the same opinions on everything. If he makes fun of them on the other hand, which I don't think he will, but in that case god help him, I will defend these books to my death. Also, he will like them. Alex recognizes a good book when he's reading one, I have nothing to worry about.

He got back to the other two and found them glaring at one another fiercely. Whatever had been said while he wasn't there must have hit a little to close to home on both sides. He shot Jefferson one last spiteful look before he grabbed Alex by his arm and dragged him outside. They stood in silence for a second, then Alex locked eyes with him. Before John knew what was happening Alex had pulled him into a tight hug. He hugged back instantly, it simply felt right. When they separated John wasn't sure how to react and neither was Alex. "What is it, Alex?" He asked, "Did that idiot say something while I was gone? Because I swear if he got to close to you no matter how I will make him regret ever meeting either of us."

Alex lit up at his words, not completely but the life was back in his eyes. "I thought making him regret to have ever met us already was our plan, wasn't it? Forget about those last few minutes, it was nothing. Have you seen his face when he realized?" Alex cracked up at the thought of that. John wasn't completely convinced but had to admit that it had been horribly funny. His overly strong reaction to Alex's strange behavior was another thing for his list of 'stuff -to -think -about -another -time -that -totally -didn't -mean -he -had- a- crush'. For now, John was just glad it had gone unnoticed.

He still wanted to know what he had missed tho, that bone crushing hug spoke for itself, something was clearly not okay. "You know that you can always talk to me no matter what, right? You're worrying me. At this point, you are one of the closest friends I got, and I care about you." He wasn't sure what he had said to get that reaction but Alex was smiling at him brightly.

"It means a lot to me that you are concerned, but it was really just Jefferson being his usual asshole self," Alex took Johns hand and pulled him in the direction of his car as he continued, "And John? Thank you for doing this with me." Their high spirits were back in place when they both sat down in Alex's car. "My only regret about this is that we didn't get to film it," Alex said with true remorse in his voice. That was it for John and all the repressed laughter from earlier began bubbling up. Alex promptly joined him and at that moment it definitely was all worth it.

He placed his stack of books in the back seat once they had calmed down. In that movement, he looked in the rearview mirror and caught a glimpse of Thomas. That unbelievable douche had the audacity to watch them through his window. "Oh he has got be kidding me, I can't believe that guy," he murmured under his breath. Which got him a confused sound from Alex who looked up from the CDs he was sorting while trying to find one. John scoffed, "Thomas is watching us through the window, don't look in his direction."

He wasn't sure what made him think his next move was a good idea but his annoyance seemed to justify it at the time. "Kiss me," he all but ordered Alex, whose eyes went wide. Alex didn't move an inch but his cheeks were redder than before. John risked another look in the mirror. Not only was Thomas still watching them, he also seemed somewhat unbelieving as if he knew that it had all been a show. His thoughts rushed back to Alex as Jefferson caught him staring back.

He panicked, he had to do something. fast. John locked eyes with Alex who still hadn't moved. He leaned in and pressed his lips to Alexs' as if both of their lives depended on it. He could feel Alex stiffen for a moment but then he also leaned in and buried his hand in Johns' hair as he deepened their kiss. John wrapped an arm around Alex and pulled him even closer. Every last ounce of denial for his feelings went down the drain in that exact moment. He forgot everything about their circumstances including that it was all just an act. John felt all kinds of warmth and giddiness mixed with the growing longing for more.

When Alex broke their kiss he took all of that blissful ignorance and happiness with him and left a cold emptiness, suffocating him. Both were panting and trying to recatch their breath but Johns thoughts were stuck elsewhere. He hated himself for feeling the way he did, Alex saw a friend in him. John had wanted to see nothing but a friend in Alex too. It had been doomed from the very beginning. He internally cursed about how stupid he had been.

Alex didn't give him the time to mull it all over now. He looked at John with that wonderful glint of mischief in his eyes and a strong blush heavily visible on his cheeks as he said, "well that certainly was....something?" John laughed breathlessly, "yeah," he agreed, "that it was." He checked the rearview mirror once more and was satisfied to see that Jefferson was gone. At least something about this had gone according to plan then.

Alex pulled out of the parking spot, drove off and raised an eyebrow at John as he watched him, "haven't you noticed?" he sounded bewildered. "Noticed what?" There was something about the amused expression on Alex's face that John didn't like at all in this situation. He wondered what the hell he had missed until Alex finally took pity on him. "You wanted to see if Jefferson was still stalking us, right?" John nodded hesitantly. Alex chuckled, "good to know that I'm apparently not a terrible kisser. Jefferson left shortly after he saw us. He got into some random dark car parked a little further down the street. My dear, he walked past us."

Alex was still chuckling, and John could feel the heat rise in his head. He was sure he had to be looking like a tomato at this point and wished to simply die of embarrassment. The only good thing was that it didn't seem like Alex was making fun of him but more about the absurdity of their circumstances. Alex jokeingly asked, "was I really that distracting?" John sighed, "If you must know, yes you were." It couldn't get any worse now anyway, John thought as he added, "you really are an unfairly good kisser." At least now Alex was as red in the face as he was feeling.

Then a rather unpleasant thought struck John and he blurted out, "wait, am I that bad of a kisser? I mean weren't you distracted at all?... oh you know what, forget I asked that." He looked out the window and ducked his head in embarrassment. To Johns surprise, Alex came to his egos rescue. "What? noo! That's not what I wanted to say at all. You are definitely a fantastic kisser. I just had set my mind on watching out for us beforehand. It was much harder to concentrate than I expected it to be though, you were more than a little distracting." Alex seemed horrified about having said that last bit out loud in his rush to assure John. All of his smugness was gone.

They locked eyes for a second, which led to Alex almost driving onto the pavement and into a lamp post. Both gasped in surprise and when they were safely driving again neither said a word. Finally, they reached the small cafe. Alex stopped him before he could get out of the car. "I don't want this to make things awkward between us," he said seriously. "What, that we are fake dating but can agree that both of us know how to kiss? That's definitely not going to make anything awkward at all."


	6. Chapter 6

They sat in silence. "This is the most surreal thing that ever happened to me," Alex declared. It sounded more like a realization than a statement. That was it. They both burst out laughing. Johns' stomach hurt and his eyes were watering from all the laughter, between gasps he said, "On the way back, I'm driving. You almost drove us in a lamp post." Alex was also having trouble to recatch his breath between new fits of laughter. "Heyy, that was your fault," he complained. "I thought I was only distracting while kissing?" John replied. Alex groaned and put his hands over his face, "are you ever going to let me forget that, are you?" John beamed brightly, he opened the door and said; "nope, probably not," before he finally got out of the car.

Alex followed suit and they walked towards the cafe together. He grabbed Johns hand before they entered, "there's a good chance we're going to meet some people I know in there," he explained. Maybe all of this won't be so bad after all, John thought. He liked spending time with Alex and being close with him. Acting like they were in a relationship and doing couple-y things was going to be fun too, not to mention the way it freaked Jefferson out. He would forget about his crush soon, John told himself. Alex was probably just throwing him off so much because he had been craving the closeness of a relationship. That must be it.

Alex let the door fall shut behind them and pulled him to a small table in front of a huge window. The cafe had its own unique style, most of its interior was held in different shades of blue. On the left side of the room, two coffee tables with several blue plush armchairs and a sofa in the same color took up the most space. The wall on that side was covered in old band and movie posters. On the right side wooden tables and chairs were placed in front of huge windows. The remaining parts of the wall in between had been plastered with book pages. An enormous antique looking bar stood all the way back. It had been rebuilt with a coffee machine inside and was stocked with an impressive collection of teas. One of the most original places John had ever been to, he had to admit. Alex smiled knowingly at the look of awe on his friends face. Shortly after they had sat down a young waitress brought them the menu, they each ordered a late breakfast and agreed to share a can of coffee.

Alex thoughtfully stirred in his cup, "umm, about earlier," he said and tried to avoid Johns gaze. He groaned internally, "I thought we had agreed to just drop it?" he chimed in quickly, he didn't like at all how uncomfortable Alex looked when he continued; "Yeah, I know, but I guess I should apologize? We hadn't talked about boundaries and what not to do and I shouldn't have kissed you without your permission." John leaned back in his chair, "It's not like I waited to get you consent back in the car," he reminded him. Alex grinned, "well that was kind of an emergency. Okay, moving on, we probably should talk about boundaries now then. Any from your side?" he asked.

John tought it over and took a sip of his coffee. He couldn't come up with any, he liked being close to Alex way to much. He should say something, he thought, Alex didn't need to know just how much he liked him. John mulled it over again but finally admitted defeat to himself. "Not really, no. We agreed that kissing is fine, I don't now what else might be too close since that's as close as it gets? What do you think?" He got quieter towards the end and hoped that Alex wouldn't hear how unsure he was or think that he came across desperate.

Alex didn't take it like that atall, he lit up at Johns words. "I was thinking the same," he said and paused for a moment as the waitress came back and placed their plates in front of them, they both began eating. Alex spoke again, breaking the short silence, "One more thing, it was kind of difficult to convince Jefferson and I'm not sure he'll believe us if he thinks this over to much. He's an ass but sadly not a stupid one. Do you think we could maybe meet at my place and practice coming across like a couple for a while? My sisters are throwing a party next friday and I'd like to tell everyone we're dating for now and officially introduce you as my boyfriend there. If that's fine with you?" Alex stopped and looked at him.

"That should work, but what exactly do you want to practice?" John asked and tried to ignore the flip in his stomach as he thought of just what it might be they'd practice. Alex didn't get to answer, precisely as he wanted to say something, a girl who had just entered the cafe grabbed a third chair and dragged it to their table. She sat down next to them and slung an arm around Alex as if it was the most natural thing ever. John was just about to ask her what the hell she was doing, but then they locked eyes and he remembered having seen her around campus. A split second before either one of them said anything he had guessed who she was; Angelica Schuyler.

Alex didn't even flinch when she threw herself at him like that, nor did he look in her direction. With a suppressed smile on his face he said, "Angelica, I've been wondering when you'd show up." She huffed," if you expected me to show up then tell me who this is. You wanted to introduce him to me, I am guessing?" Angelica pointed at him. Okay, that was kind of rude, he thought, talking about him as if he couldn't hear her. John knew from rumors that she had punched Jefferson once at a party and was a feminist, that alone made him like her enough to not say anything for now.

Alex sighed, "Angie, I hate to inform you that this isn't about you my dear sister. I invited John here to get breakfast with me because this is the best cafe in town, and not so you could meet him." Angelica raised one eyebrow, "you never bring anyone here," she said with an unreadable expression on her face. Alex grinned, "Make your own rhyme on that. Also, I'd love to drink coffee with you and properly introduce John another time, but for now I'd prefer if you stopped interrupting my first good date in a year." That was the wrong choice of words. Angelica gasped loudly and immediately insisted they tell her how they'd met. Alex tried to stop her again, but he didn't stand a chance. He gave in and told her the whole tale as quickly as possible.

She laughed, "you're the only one who'd get a date because they screamed at somebody on the phone. Ohh the irony that it was Jefferson, this is brilliant," she shook her head and then extended a hand in Johns direction. "Nice to meet you, I think I've seen you around before? I heard the painting on the third floor next to the library entrance is from you, is that true?" John was baffled, he hadn't expected her to ask about his art, he hadn't thought anybody had noticed his painting at all if he was honest. The painting showed a few plants, mostly flowers he had drawn for a biology class project. Nothing special, but the professor insisted it had to be hung up.

Alex gaped at him, "you had mentioned that you draw and we talked about art but I had no idea you were that good, now I feel kind of stupid for thinking I knew stuff about art," he trailed off. John reassured him promptly, "But you do know stuff about art, that much was clear. I actually enjoyed talking to you about it a lot. That painting is mine, yes, but honestly it isn't even that good," he said the last part directed at Angelica as well." Are you kidding me?" Alex and Angelica said in unison, both began rambling. "I wanted to put it in an edition of the campus paper when I first saw it. It's one of the best paintings I've ever seen that isn't from the hundreds of years ago, I've spent weeks trying to figure out who's it is."

At the same time, Angelica said, "He and Peggy stood in front it for about fifteen minutes when we first discovered it.They insisted to show it to Eliza and made her come with them an hour before classes started to look at it again. I had to physically drag them away," she seemed outright shocked that John didn't like his own creation. "Umm thank you," John stuttered sheepishly. He wasn't used to getting any kind of positive feedback on his art since it was one of his interests his family understood the least.

Angelica huffed, "You know what?", she said to Alex, "you have my approval. Go on, marry him, I'll gladly welcome him into our family."


	7. Chapter 7

-An incredibly good artist who shares our political views and hates Jefferson? Couldn't be better. Also look at how cute he is," Angelica concluded. John turned bright red and so did Alex, who laughed despite the embarrassment. Angelica swiftly stood up from their table and announced that she didn't want to further interrupt their date. Alex grabbed her wrist, "you don't even know about the best part of dating him," he looked at her sternly "he actually lets me finish when I'm talking," she groaned and John laughed. "And he thinks my jokes are funny," Alex added triumphantly.

Angelica pulled her wrist free, "please make him read one of your horribly long essays. If he manages to let you talk and likes your jokes, there is no way he can put up with your endless writing as well," she said absolutely sure of herself. John chimed in, "well, actually-" but Angelica interrupted him, "you have got to be kidding me. You like his essays?" John felt the strong need to defend himself, "I only read two of them so far but, yes, I really liked them. I hate when people leave out long arguments or shorten them out of laziness. When reading an essay I want to find arguments I didn't think of before that show a completely new perspective. Not think of twice as much as the author, wonder how they came to a conclusion or guess all of their points halfway through. What I read from Alex so far was absolutely impressive. I like his style of writing and how he doesn't leave things out if they're critical."

John had only scammed one of Alex essays while they were at the Rochambeau the previous night and properly read one in the car that night on the way to Alexs' place. What he had said was true anyway and he hoped to read more of Alex's future works. "I wish I could write like that" he added almost dreamily. Angelica couldn't believe her ears, "I take everything back, his ego needs everything, but you. That's just too much." Alex mock glared at her and she finally retreated to a table on the other side of the room where she sat down next to some other girls from college.

"Sorry, she tends to be overprotective but she only means well, I promise," Alex mumbled. "Your oldest sister, huh? Do you think she liked me?" John questioned. "Oh come on, as if anybody could dislike you. She just told me to marry you and you're wondering whether or not she likes you," Alex said, sounding surprisingly sincere. John didn't know how to answer but luckily he didn't have to. "You have to show me more of your artworks," he continued eagerly, "Angie wasn't exaggerating on how much we all like your painting. I've been trying to find out who's it is for literal weeks, why didn't you sign it?" John smiled, "it was for a biology class project, signing a school project would be a bit strange, wouldn't it?" A quiet "oh", was all the answer he got from Alex.

John took the opportunity to change the subject, he really didn't feel like further discussing his art. He quickly asked who else was invited to the Schuyler sisters party. Many people were, In fact many more than John would have been comfortable with, and Jefferson was among them as well. He groaned and Alex explained that Angelicas and Peggy's dates both were friends with Thomas, but were okay besides that. Alex went on to say that they could just avoid Jefferson, shouldn't be too difficult with that many people around. John considered it, and disagreed, "the plan was to annoy him, that won't work if we go out of his way. Let's just go for confrontation this once," he argued.

Alex was unsure but remembered that he had told Thomas he'd have to put up with them twice as much now, so he agreed. "If we meet up to ...practice, maybe we can think of some things that will annoy him," John declared, suddenly very sure of himself. They finished their breakfast and carried on their conversation with less important things. "Aren't your sisters going to be mad when they find out?" John asked suddenly, and emptied his last cup of coffee. "Probably, depends on how they find out. Maybe they don't have to find out at all." He seemed lost in his thoughts and John wondered for how long exactly Alex planned to carry on this game. It made a weird picture form in his mind, of them being fake married and never splitting up. Spending their whole lives in an unreal relationship.

He shook the bizarre image out of his head, surely that wouldn't happen. When they decided it was time to leave Alex insisted to pay for both of them. He wouldn't have had to but John couldn't stop him, Alex included a generous tip for the young waitress. They waved Angelica goodbye and again Alex took Johns hand as they left the cafe. John made a mental note to pay the next time they went somewhere together and thanked Alex once more.

The fresh air was a welcome change, it looked like it was going to be a sunny day. They walked across the parking lot, looking like any other couple without a worry and all the time of the world. Alex drove him home, they hugged shortly before they separated and finally exchanged numbers. John watched as the car drove off and tried to get his mind around how much had changed since yesterday. He went to his room and his eyes fell on his bookshelf. The books. Goddamnit he had forgotten to tell Alex about the books he had picked out for him.

John eventually decided to simply text Alex, despite having seen him less then 15 minutes ago. He formulated a summary for each book and why he thought Alex should read it, which took longer than expected. John frowned at his phone as he reread his text for the fifth time and thought of Alex's beautifully composed essays. He sighed and pressed send. How likely was it that Alex had just as high standards for texting as he had for essays anyway. Half an hour later he was engrossed in his schoolwork.The rest of the weekend had passed in the same way almost every weekend did. The only difference being that he and Alex were constantly texting and Jefferson was even more annoying than usual.

John and Alex had agreed to meet after classes on Monday and go to Alex's place together. On Monday they also met up during lunchtime like they had agreed to. Peggy, Eliza, Angelica, Laf, and even Burr had all joined them. John knew all of them but wasn't exactly close with anyone. Despite the feeling that he'd make some fantastic friends within this group, he was glad when Hercules joined them. With Alex's permission, he had told Hercules that they were only fake dating.

Alex wasn't happy about telling Hercules the truth. But since Lafayette knew as well, John had insisted it was only fair if his next closest friend knew too, which basically translated to; all weekend long, whenever John wasn't studying or texting Alex, he was on the phone further explaining his situation to Hercules. His friend had quickly come to the not untrue conclusion that John had actually fallen in love. Hercules tried to convince him that he had to tell Alex before things got awkward, but John had refused to.

He wasn't sure if he was to stubborn or to scared to talk to Alex, all he knew was that he wouldn't. While they all sat together in the cafeteria Alex thought it a suitable time to announce that they were dating. Everybody wished them the best and gratulated them despite it being quite the surprise. Herc and Laf did their best to act surprised, but so were Peggy and Eliza. "They weren't supposed to know already, that must have been Angelicas doing," Alex murmured in Johns ear when he realized his sisters were putting on an act.

The rest of the break past relatively eventless. John and Alex sat close to one another and made sure they were always somehow touching. The others bought it completely, nobody questioned them. Good for John was that he didn't have to pretend anything. Ironically he'd have found it a lot harder to act like he wasn't in love. Every little thing Alex did was the biggest distraction to him. More than once he didn't notice somebody trying to get his attention. Luckily everybody brushed it off as typical 'freshly in love' behavior. He desperately hoped Alex just thought he was a good actor.

When classes were finally over he went to meet Alex by the main entrance and they walked to the parking lot together.


	8. Chapter 8

"Lafayette will be away all day long, we've got my place completely to ourselves," Alex announced. From behind them a voice called, "more than I needed to know." Both turned around and saw Aaron walking just a few steps behind them. He shook his head and gave Alex a huge folder he had carried with him. "You forgot that in class, I should have left it there, I really didn't need to hear that," he pulled a face. "Umm thank you, and sorry I guess," Alex replied sheepishly as he stuffed the folder in his much too full bag. "No problem, see you tomorrow," Aaron said shrugging and walked away.

Alex looked overly embarrassed and didn't say a word on the way to his car. Eventually, John said, "well, at least we don't have to worry about convincing him. He's definitely going to believe us now." Alex laughed but still insisted he'd very much like to die of embarrassment now. On the drive to Alex's flat, they talked about the books John had given Alex. He also told Alex about the only interesting and somewhat funny thing that had happened during the weekend: While he was talking to Hercules on the phone he noticed Jefferson eavesdropping once. John took his chance and immediately began listing all the reasons he loved Alex, till Thomas looked positively sick.

"I wish I could have seen that, bloody brilliant," Alex laughed. When they entered the flat John casually asked where Lafayette had gone for the day. Alex had started brewing a fresh can of coffee for them and told him that Laf had gone to meet Hercules. That got more than a little interest out of John. Alex thoughtfully bit his lower lip, "You know, I probably shouldn't be this blunt about the matter, but... Well, let's say Laf hypothetically asked me to ask you something. Could you answer without telling Hercules? Hypothetically of course." John had a good idea what that question might be. If he was correct then it would at least mean somebody got lucky because of their mess. He nodded for Alex to continue.

"Soo, do you think the meeting could be called a date? Is Hercules even interested in men? And single?" Alex rushed out. John grinned, "That were three questions, and not one," he sighed, "but I can answer. Hypothetically, I'd say, yes, yes, and yes again. You can't tell I told you though, that would get me killed. And if I was to hypothetically ask the same about Laf?" He didn't need to finish, Alex promptly answered," also yes to all three, believe me, he made the 'interested' part very clear when we last talked. Laf is bi, that was part of the reason we moved in together, because I am too and there are still many people who see that as a problem, you know? Hercules isn't like that, right?"

John carefully took the hot cup of coffee Alex handed him, "definitely not, he is gay, not bi but he hates it when idiots try to exclude anybody from the Lgbt+ community. I had no idea you were bi, I guess that's another thing we never properly talked about. I'm gay by the way." Without missing a beat Alex said, "Hi gay, I'm Alex." John groaned, he should have seen that coming. Alex continued before John could complain. "Thank god, I was starting to worry you were actually straight and had no idea how to ask you. I hope they end up dating, I think they'd be a great match," he said lightheartedly, and then jokingly added, "just like us." John was internally still laughing at the idea of the guy he was in love with mistaking him for straight.

Wait, was Alex just flirting with him? No way, he must have imagined it. He ignored Alex last sentence and instead replied," I get mistaken for a straight guy worryingly often, Herc says it's because I'm not out to my family." Alex sat aside his half-empty cup and looked at him, "I'm not out to my whole family either. Just my sisters. I don't think my parents will mind, I just didn't see the right time to tell them. I will talk to them soon. What about you, why haven't you told your family? I mean you told me about your father, I get that, but what about your siblings and mother?" he questioned.

Yeah what about them, he thought. "I guess I'm just scared it could get back to him. You don't know my father, I wouldn't put it past him to completely exclude me from the family. Of course, I'd like to tell them but I have honestly no idea how any of them would react, I don't want to lose them," he finished with heavy sorrow in his voice. Alex seemed to have some kind of idea he was unsure how to voice. Eventually he spoke up, "I know it doesn't sound nice, but have you considered manipulating them a bit for the better? It sounds like they never even thought about what they think of gay people, besides your father who has his unshakable, prejudiced opinions." He looked at John with nervous anticipation in his eyes.

That was something John surely hadn't thought of before, if he was honest he wasn't sure what precisely Alex had meant. When his friend didn't clarify he asked, "what did you have in mind?" he trusted Alex enough to think whatever Alex thought of might actually work. "Forget I said that," Alex stuttered, shaking his head. "Alex?" John asked pointedly. "Ok, fine. Let's say we were to extend this game of pretend to include your family. Think of what kind of person they'd like the most, who they'd want you to be with. Add an absolutely perfect first meeting scenario. Make sure they think all of that applies to me and then tell them we're more than friends." Alex had begun marching up and down the small kitchen, he listed every step with absolute certainty. Alex made it sound like a battle plan that was sure to succeed.

Hearing Alex's take on his family problem woke up a long forgotten hope. Suddenly it didn't seem just as impossible to not lose his family. Alex must have detected the glint in Johns' eyes, "I'll help you if you want me to, just be sure that it's what you want, that you're ready to tell then," he said assuringly. John felt on edge due to the new perspective and he didn't have to think it through. As soon as Alex had explained his plan he was sure that it was the only way things would work out in his favor. His throat felt dry and he realized that he had just decided to come out to his family. With Alex by his side, it was only half as scary of a prospect.

He stood up straighter and stopped Alex in motion who still wandered around restlessly. And with wavering voice he announced, "Yes. It's what I want. Probably my only chance to make things with my family work too. Honestly, I don't even feel bad for wanting to manipulate them, they've messed with my brain and feelings far too often for that." Alex looked into his eyes as if he wanted to make sure there was no doubt in them. There wasn't. "Okay, I'll help you. Tell me when and where we're going to meet your family and I'll be there. It will work out." John wasn't sure if Alex wanted to assure him or himself and maybe Alex wasn't either.

They moved to the living room and silently sat down on the couch. The tension from before was gone and John was left with a strange feeling in his stomach. They agreed that he'd call his family the same day and arrange a meeting with them. After that Alex helped John map out what his family wanted to hear. Once they had a vague plan how they'd make the idea work they moved on to what they'd initially met for. After a few awkward moments of silence were neither of them knew what to do they decided that it likely made the most sense to just stay close together. If they were in public and made being close look awkward and uncomfortable no one would believe them after all. They sat closely, trying different coupley positions to find one that was comfortable for both of them.

It turned out to be quite funny once they got over the awkwardness. Alex had one arm slung around John and they were holding hands. They talked about anything and everything just like they did when they first met, but closer. Both were laughing at the idea of how angry Jefferson would be if he knew they'd only fooled him.Then John turned to the side and suddenly they were a lot closer than he had expected. It reminded John of their first kiss, and Alex's mind seemed to have taken the same turn.

Alex mumbled something about having to practice that as well, and John simply nodded. Next thing he knew Alex was kissing him. All kinds of different feelings washed over him and he didn't care about any of them. He pulled Alex closer as they continued kissing.


	9. Chapter 9

It was nothing like that innocent first kiss they shared. In a matter of seconds it had turned into a full-on makeout session, the way it would have in the car if Alex hadn't made them stop. A distinct part of his mind wondered whether Alex had actually told him to stop the second they were out of Jefferson's sight. It didn't matter now, nothing did. He couldn't think straight, or think at all. Everything John knew was that he wanted more. He hadn't registered when they had changed positions but they weren't sitting next to each other anymore. He was pressed flatly onto the couch and Alex lay on top of him, kissing him senseless.

There was nothing platonic about their situation, nor would it be appropriate to kiss like that in front of their friends. All he hoped for was that Alex wouldn't stop so soon this time. The last part of him that could still think rationally reminded him that he should stop them. If he always waited for Alex to break them up, to make every decision about them, it was bound to backfire sometime. He had no idea how much time had passed and they were still all over each other when the door was pushed open.

They didn't notice, or maybe they simply didn't care. But neither of them even tried to pull apart when Lafayette loudly closed the door behind him. John knew that he was powerless, he couldn't resist and certainly wouldn't stop Alex from kissing him. Ever. Alex didn't care either, he just kept kissing John even though he had to be aware of Lafayette. He heard a distant, "you have got to be kidding me?" before a couch pillow hit both of them. Taken by surprise they rushed apart and looked up at their friend. They only looked at him because looking at each other would have been even more embarrassing.

John came back to his senses and immediately wanted to punch himself for having been that stupid. He couldn't ignore reality any longer. Laf stood in front of them with crossed arms and a raised eyebrow, "only fake dating, huh?" he mocked. In an attempt to get the focus off of them Alex ignored his friends probably rhetorical, question. He instead asked him how his date with Hercules went, which appeared to ease the awkwardness since Lafs eyes went wide, "you think it was a date?" he looked at John pointedly, "you know him well, don't you? What do you think?" John took a moment to reply, thinking of what Hercules would want him to say. "Probably?" he answered carefully, and added, "how did it go?" Laf beamed happily, "ohhh it was great mon ami, couldn't have been better. We went to that nice little park a couple of blocks from here."

If Herc chose such an obvious location he might as well spell things out for Laf, John decided. "The park with the rose bushes and tiny cafe?" he asked, Laf nodded excitedly. "In that case my friend, there is no way this wasn't a date." The three of them talked on about the park date for a while until Alex decided to try and subtly get away with John." So, I'm glad you're happy. I can really see you guys staying together for a long time," Alex declared. Laf sighed happily, completely caught up in his new found luck. Then Alex added, "and as much as I enjoy listening to you, there was this book I wanted to show John. In my room. So, if you'll excuse us?" He got up and grabbed Johns wrist to pull him along.

John got the hint to make a fast exit and hurried to get away. Lafayette had gotten the hint as well, "Not so fast. Nice try Alex but you're not going anywhere until you've explained this mess to me." They started stuttering, both not having found a solid explanation for themselves yet. Eventually, Laf took pity on them, "okay, I figure you have no clue yourselves. I'll be next door. Before you go, let me remind you that the walls of this apartment are thin." He walked off and shook his head at his supposedly smart friends who couldn't see what everybody else saw when they looked at them.

Once Laf was gone Alex let himself fall back onto the couch, John sat down next to him. Alex put his hands in front of his face, "Can we agree to just forget whatever that was?" he said desperately. The problem was John didn't want to forget. That horrible conversation with Laf he wanted to forget, but not the time he and Alex had spent together before that. He breathed in deeply, "I guess that was a new kind of awkward." Without pausing, or thinking for that matter, he added, "what if we just don't stop acting like boyfriends? When we're alone I mean. Otherwise things between us might end up looking staged but if we get used to being  'relationship like' close at all times?" John regretted his words the second they had left his mouth. It had sounded smart in his brain, for the simple reason that it would be increasingly difficult to hide his crush otherwise. He shouldn't have said anything, especially not after what just had happened.

Alex however simply jumped at his chance to move on with their plan as if nothing had changed, "you're right that's probably the smartest thing to do." John cursed internally, good excuse or not this was going to be torture.

 

The next couple of days passed way too quickly, John had never had more fun in his life. They went on a date every day and spend as much time together as they possibly could. At College word got around even faster than expected and everybody they knew, no matter how distinctly, new about them. Or at least they thought they did. It was turning alarmingly easy to ignore that they weren't dating and John had to constantly remind himself not to let his guard down to much.

It was Friday and Alex would pick him up any second. All day long his concern about their situation had grown. He couldn't get rid of the feeling that Alex would randomly decide that he had enough and they should tell everybody, laugh, and go back to being friends. There wasn't much he could do about that, besides maybe drinking more than usual as a distraction. The day before he had come to the conclusion that he wouldn't get over his feelings as long as it felt like they were dating for real. John sighed as he looked into the mirror one last time and left his bathroom.

He went to his room to grab his jacket and keys. While he waited, his latest work caught his eye and he smiled. On their second date, he had complained to Alex that the chameleon he was drawing for art class didn't look the way he wanted it to at all. After thinking it over with him for a while Alex had announced he should draw a turtle instead. He couldn't say no to Alex, ever. It had been the right decision, the turtle looked much more realistic than the chameleon had. He shook his head at himself and thought about how Alex always managed to get the best out of him.

Then the doorbell rang and he hurried to let his friend in. Alex greeted him with a short peck on the lips and his usual stunning smile.

 

They were among the last arriving guests, only Thomas and Madison were still missing. Two steps inside the house and they were offered alcohol from every direction. Both downed a Vodka shot before they went on to the living room. He had a pleasant warm feeling in his stomach due to the alcohol and quickly downed two more shots to make the music bearable. Alex glanced at him questioningly, he just shrugged as an answer. Laf would stay sober and drive them and Hercules home, they had nothing to worry about.

Aaron made his way over to them, a glass of red liquor in his hand. "Any idea why Thomas isn't here yet?" Aaron had to yell his question to be heard over the banging of the music. Alex shook his head and gestured he would go to the kitchen to talk to Eliza, he pressed another kiss to Johns' lips and left. Aaron was about to leave as well but John held him back. "Madison picked Thomas up at our place half an hour early, they should have been here before Alex and me," he told Burr with only mild concern. Burr nodded a silent thank you to him and went to talk to Peggy.

With that John was on his own. There were people everywhere, he saw several familiar faces in the crowd and yet he was alone. John went to the bar and got himself a beer, he was just about to sit down when a heavy hand landed on his shoulder.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Additional notes:  
> I decided that this should be extra long since its the tenth chapter, I hope you guys like it :)  
> (Also, I wrote this on my birthday instead of celebrating, enjoy!)  
> I just was told that I'll be going to America this August as part of a student exchange programme omg, I still can't believe it! For a whole freaking year omg!!
> 
> Also, is anybody even still reading this? Please comment, I'm thinking about deleting this.

Hercules was much more drunk than John, that was clear. He dragged John to a small table, squeezed around which sat Laf, Angelica, a guy with the nickname mad king, Maria, George and now Hercules and John as well. When they joined, the others were arguing about which drinking game they wanted to play. Angelica convinced them to start with never have I ever. And so it began. After a few rounds, John felt horribly dizzy, which was mostly Hercs fault. Hercules knew John and all of his stories and was drunk enough to find it funny to use that against him.

Thinking was starting to get difficult and he wondered where Alex was. It took a second till the voices around him reached his brain and he noticed that everybody was waving at a person behind him. He turned around in his chair and instantly wished he hadn't. Thomas and James had finally arrived and were walking towards their table. John wanted to discreetly share a look with Hercules to ask him if they could get away together, but Herc was already gone. He internally sighed but stayed where he was when the two sat down and joined the game. The only luck he had was that he didn't have to drink nearly as often without Hercules around. Jefferson, on the other hand, was getting less sober by the minute and had started to turn philosophical.

John wanted to bang his head on the table but sadly that would have been inappropriate. Instead, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and texted Alex, but made sure to keep his phone under the table. The others were too drunk to notice. 'Help, TJeffs is being annoying, he's turning philosophical, oh my god, do something. Please?!' John sent the message and hoped that Alex had his phone. Good thing that Alex had this habit of checking his phone every three minutes, he got his answer almost instantly, 'On my way to rescue you,' it read, with a heart emoji added. John pocketed his phone and already saw Alex approaching.

His heart swoll with happiness, the way it did whenever he saw Alex coming towards him, it was ridiculous. A new bottle of vodka was being past around, Jefferson filled his glass and took a huge sip. Then he said with alcohol heavy tongue, 'but the real question is, my friends, is this glass half full or half empty?" Just in time for Alex to hear. Alex saw his opportunity and took it, one confident step towards the table and he snatched Jeffersons glass away from him. He emptied it's contains at once and banged it back down on the table. "Empty," he declared, "this glass is empty and you're full of shit," he said pointing at Thomas accusingly.

Everybody within earshot lost it, the whole table was howling with laughter. Only Thomas was pouting since Alex had destroyed his moment of feeling superior and smart. Alex had an incredibly smug expression on his face and was obviously pleased with himself. He pulled an armchair that stood close by over to them, not without tripping twice, and sat down next to John. He could tell that Alex was really drunk just from the distinct smell of alcohol in his breath. And the tripping, of course, had been very telling too. They instinctively reached for each other's hands.

Alex beamed, "has John already told you guys that he and I are now official? Not only dating but in a relationship, for real? I still can't believe my luck!" he announced. His statement was met with excited cheering and toasts from several people, again minus Thomas. Jefferson held his chin high and had apparently set it in his mind to get back in the center of attention, "You guys this is starting to get uncomfortable, we're definitely too many to all sit around this table. I mean if we all had normal chairs this would work but some people had to insist on an armchair instead. Honestly, Alex, this is sooo uncomfortable for the rest of us, can't you just find a normal chair? Or would you rather one of us leaves?" Thomas sounded even snobbier and whinier than usual.

It was a silent dare for Alex that much was obvious, and John was waiting with anticipation how his friend would react. The others were just rolling their eyes at Thomas childlike behavior, but he had found a way to make Alex look stupid no matter how. Either he obliged and went to get a different chair, which would be admitting defeat. Or he could fire one of the dozens of comebacks he had waiting at Jefferson, all of which would end in Thomas being the person who should leave if one of them had to. The second option would kill the lighthearted mood at the table and make Alex seem horribly mean. John looked into Jefferson's eyes and saw him smirk. That idiot new exactly in what a situation he had brought Alex. John took another sip of his vodka, and so did Alex. He could practically see his friends brain working.

When Alex sat the glass back down there was a stubborn glint in his eyes. John couldn't wait to find out what he had come up with. And he didn't have to. Alex took back the control over the situation, he got up and calmly said, "I have a better idea." Before John knew what was going on Alex was by his side and lifted him up from his chair, bridal style. He then proceeded to carry him over to the armchair and sat back down, placing John in his lap. That bloody idiot, thought John, not completely sincere. He knew that Alex knew that he hated being picked up or carried around. He softly kicked Alex under the table, but pretended like he was completely fine with it. John smiled sweetly, "Babe, you could have just told me to come over," he said and kissed Alex's neck. John was surprised that he hadn't reacted more strangely to being picked up but he had managed to keep his mask in place. He also had already gotten his payback, Alex hated being called 'Babe'.

Their friends chuckled and Angelica looked like she wanted to congratulate Alex. Alex had his smugness back, but John swore he could see him cringe slightly at the word 'Babe'. To top it all of Alex said, "I would never ask any of my friends to leave the table. And you were right Thomas, this armchair has enough room for two, no need to waste any space. Would you be so kind as to bring that unneeded chair away? I can't really get up right now you see. And since you were the one who wanted it gone?" John snickered and unconsciously ran his fingers through Alex's hair. He really had gotten used to being this close to his friend. Thomas didn't answer, he just glared at them with an ungodly amount of hate.

Angelica saw that as her sign to take over. "Honestly Thomas?" she spat, "you're acting like a bratty little kid who has never heard the word manners before. You asked for something, Alex gave you what you wanted. Now accept it and move on like any other goddamn adult would." She shook her head unbelievingly and then turned away to join back in on the others conversation. Jefferson was fuming with rage but hidden beneath his anger lay some strange kind of fear and he actually got up to bring the chair away this time. John was confused, he had expected Thomas to keep arguing like he always did but he had given in. Only why? Then it hit him, the guy was afraid Angelica would punch him again. Laughing quietly he thought that Angie must have a mean right hook.

When Thomas came back he pretended as if nothing had happened, "Now, as I was saying before I got so rudely interrupted," he pointedly looked at Alex, who held his head high and spoke over Jefferson again, "You asked the oh so intelligent half empty or half full question, we know. If you used half the amount of brain cells for answering that question as you use for trying to sound important you'd have already solved it." Alex downed three more shots in between sentences despite his words already starting to become unclear and heavy. Alcohol wouldn't stop Alex from being smart, "it clearly depends on the previous state of the glass. "If it was empty and somebody put liquid in it one would call it half full. If it was full and somebody drank half of it, it would be called half empty. Not that difficult." Once more John was about to start laughing, Alex could barely pronounce the word difficult, but Jefferson was speechless.

The stupid look on Thomas' face was absolutely priceless. Only Madison didn't seem to think so. Angelica raised her glass in Thomas direction, "to your health, it will take some time for you to recover from that burn." Again laughing and snickering could be heard from every direction but Johns' attention was elsewhere. He clung to Alex and had stopped listening to their surroundings. He was really glad to be back at Alex's side. It shouldn't be possible to miss someone so strongly after such a short time. At least Alex appeared to have missed him just as much. He looked into Johns' eyes and mumbled something about being happy that John was with him. Then he pulled him closer and they kissed again.

In moments like that he wanted nothing more than to forget that it was all a lie. They started to quietly talk about their evening so far, kissing in between sentences. A few minutes passed that way during which Hercules rejoined the group with Eliza and Peggy in tow. Eliza looked at them suspiciously and Hercules seemed low-key embarrassed as if he had spilled a secret. Their body language spoke volumes and John felt like he should understand what was going on. The alcohol made him too dizzy to count the things together correctly, he gave up and waved it off as unimportant. Jefferson finally got over what Alex had said and stopped pouting. Only to try and down talk them again not even five minutes later, "Every other couple doesn't kiss nearly as often, do you really have to rub your relationship in every bodies face? You're disgustingly in love, we get it," Thomas drawled.

This time John didn't wait for Alex, he could deal with that guy too. He looked down on Thomas, "And every other person at this party, besides you, acts their age. But I figured that's none of my business, the way my relationship isn't any of yours. Keep in mind that we have been living together for a long time, I know a lot about you most of our friends don't know. Yet. If you want to keep it that way you better shut up. Understand?" John had stayed completely calm while speaking but there was a clear edge to his voice. Alex grinned mischievously and whispered in Johns' ear, "damn. I had no idea you could be this intense. That's kinda hot." He pressed a few kisses to Johns' neck as if he wanted to prove his statement.

Like always Jefferson didn't take him seriously, he grimaced with disgust and huffed scornfully, "Please stop already," he began whining, then he declared that he had been talking to Alex and therefore didn't need Johns opinion anyway. Alex purposefully stayed silent, to prove that he valued Johns opinion and wouldn't talk over his boyfriend. John sat up a little straighter, "let's begin with why I think you were late to this party when you left our place half an hour before me and who was with you at the time." He took a deep breath as if he was about to list an ungodly amount of facts. Thomas promptly choked on his drink, he coughed and went flaming red. Interesting to note might be that Madison was equally red in the face.

John grinned, "thanks for confirming," he said self-assured and cuddled closer to Alex again. Thomas didn't know what to say, he seemed to finally have realized that he for once wouldn't get away with provoking John. Thomas got up, with his head held high and dramatically stormed out. Nobody cared about his exit though, which just further added to John satisfaction.

 

The party went on all night. Eventually, Alex even dragged him to the dancefloor. They stayed close together the whole time and it was wonderful. In the early morning hours, the alcohol had eventually lost its effect and he was tired. He thought about asking Alex if they should start looking for Laf, he was supposed to drive them home after all. Peggy changed his plans. She pushed past the few remaining guests towards them, "I was looking for you. Laf told me to tell you that he's sorry but George had some kind of family emergency and borrowed his car to leave early since he wasn't here with his own. Also, Lafayette left with Hercules about an hour ago. I think they walked to Hercs place, it's not that far from here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who would you like to see Peggy with? Please comment!


	11. Chapter 11

Alex rolled his eyes, "Great. Just great. I'm not surprised though, I actually have a rather good idea what they left early for, couldn't leave their hands off of each other in the last half an hour," he said shaking his head. Peggy scoffed, "You're one to talk. You guys have been practically attached to each other by the lips the whole night. And by the way, Angie already prepared the guest bedroom for you, you're staying over." She turned to look at John, "you seem tired. We'll turn the music off soon, I think everybody else will be out of here in an hour. Feel free to go and lie down, it's the fourth door down the hallway." She smiled sweetly and waved them off.

He quickly told Alex that he actually had had enough for the night who agreed and went with him. Hand in hand they paced down the hallway and entered the guest bedroom. Alex closed the door behind them and it felt as if they had locked out the chaotic remains of the party, the music drang muffled and distinct through to them. Both were too tired to talk much, they stripped down to their underwear and went to bed. They were so used to not caring about each other's personal space, whether or not they'd cuddle wasn't even a question. Soon the music quieted down completely and the last guests left. It was so silent, it seemed surreal compared to all the noise and life of the party.

 

They slept peacefully, till 11 am when they were woken up by a sharp knock on the door. John barely had the time to figure out where he was when an obviously pissed off Angelica Schuyler marched into the room. She was the kind of person who wouldn't wait till they were called in if they had business to handle. She slammed the door shut and John sat up straight in bed. Alex was still asleep next to him and yet he reached for him as soon as John left their embrace. John looked up at Angelica, who stood in front of the door with crossed arms and an intimidating glare on her face.

Unsure how to react with Alex still clinging to his side and without wanting to wake him he simply said, "good morning?" Angelica took a deep breath and stalked across the room. She sat down in a chair in front of desk and window on Johns side. "Good morning to you too. We need to talk, wake up your boyfriend or I will. If one can even call him your boyfriend," she sounded absolutely unforgiving. John gulped and didn't dare to ask what she had meant. His thoughts and heart started racing, how had she found out? Or was she just guessing? Maybe she was referring to something completely else and this was just a misunderstanding.

He couldn't risk dropping their act before he was sure that she knew. Should he kiss Alex to wake him up? He really wanted to but that might be strange despite their agreement, and Angelica was watching them. Whatever. He carefully stroked a few strands of hair out of Alex's face, then he leaned forward and softly placed his lips on Alex's. Alex pulled him closer the second he woke up but John broke the contact. Alex began talking before John could make him aware of Angelica, "I hope to from now on always be woken up like that," he grinned and rolled over in bed only for his smile to die down when he looked up at very confused and angry Angelica. He sat up next to John and looked from her to him and back, waiting for some kind of explanation.

"Alex, what game is this you two are playing? Don't pretend I know that you aren't actually dating. Laf and Herc are shit at keeping secrets, they didn't say anything on purpose but they seemed like they were hiding something all evening. Kept laughing hysterically and talking about how freaked out Jefferson would be if he knew. It didn't take much to guess the rest, seeing how strongly Thomas reacted to everything related to your relationship. Eliza figured it out too and we told Peggy this morning. Alex, please tell me you aren't pretending to be in a relationship just to mess with Thomas?" the accusation rose in her voice with every word.

Alex slid back down in bed and put his hands over his face, "please don't tell anybody else," he mumbled and appeared to be questioning his existence. John reassuringly put a hand on Alex's shoulder and took over explaining for him. He told Angie about the conversation they had had when they first met, about how they both had things they wanted to get back at Jefferson for. He summarized the steps they had taken and ended with telling her that they planned to convince his family next and why. Angelica had calmed down while listening to him and was back to her usual sympathetic self.

"I'm sorry to hear that your family is this difficult. I guess if you're dating or not isn't really my concern, I was just so happy for Alex. You two seemed like a perfect match. Perhaps a little too perfect to be real," she shook her head sadly. Alex took a deep breath and sat back up, "I'm sorry Angie, I shouldn't have lied to you. I just really wanted this to work for the both of us." Angelica replied, "have you ever considered acting as a career choice? You guys were pretty goddamn convincing." Suddenly Alex seemed horrified, "hang on a second, you aren't going to tell Jefferson this was fake, are you? At least let us stage a breakup!"

Angelica thought it over, and surprised them with her answer, "you know what? I'm not going to tell anybody at all. It's your decision, for all I care you can go on with this until John can't put up with you anymore, seeing Jefferson suffer is funny after all. But never ever lie to me again Alex. Promise?" Of course he promised. Angelica was somewhat satisfied with the outcome of the conversation. She got up to leave but before she reached the door she turned around and said, "Three more things. First of all, John, I told you I knew this was fake the second you woke up, why did you kiss Alex to wake him?"

John sighed, he had hoped she'd ignore that completely. He had glossed over the part in their story where they agreed to act like a couple even if nobody was around. "You weren't being all that clear, I hoped that I just misunderstood and didn't want to drop the act just in case," he tried to talk around the real reason again. Angelica raised an eyebrow at him, "you still could have woken him up differently, you wouldn't have had to kiss him. Don't you mind kissing a guy you don't love all the time? Wait, are you even into men?" She sure new which questions to ask.

Alex came to his rescue, not really but he tried. "We agreed to act more like a couple if somebody should be suspicious. Also, John is gay and you know that I'm bi so there's that. We also talked about personal space and stuff and agreed that we don't mind kissing at all. We've been acting like a couple so much lately, whether people were around or not, we'd just practice if we were alone. We got used to acting a certain way." Alex stumbled over the words and rushed them out in a way that lead to assume he hadn't meant to tell Angie half of it.

Since she was devilish smart she realized it too and immediately took up on Alex's words. "You practiced? Oh my god. Kind of explains some things, but still. I can't believe you did this. Wait, don't tell me you practiced kissing too?" When they both turned red and looked away sheepishly she began laughing, "I have to admit, I admire your dedication. Okay secondly, I think I also made a mistake. On your cost dear brother, I'm sorry. I was so angry when I found out that you had lied to me, I might have texted mum that you're dating somebody and it's getting so serious you want your special someone to meet the family. Notice how I charitably avoided using a personal pronoun, that's yours to tell them. I just hope you agree that tonight at 8 pm is a good time to tell them or you better come up with something fast." She shrugged only half apologetically.

Alex pulled a face, "That's only fair, I guess. I have a strange feeling I don't want to hear the third thing either..." Angelica didn't care about his remark, "Thirdly, breakfast is ready," she announced and left. Alex almost fell out of bed, "why are you only telling me that now?" he complained while hastily getting ready. John chuckled but hurried to follow Alex. Over breakfast they explained everything to Eliza and Peggy.


	12. Chapter 12

Angelica's Pov

Something about the tale Alex and John had told her didn't add up. She just couldn't put a finger on what it was, at least they seemed to be convinced that they were telling the truth.She mulled it over again as she hurried to the kitchen. Eliza and Peggy were talking in a hushed whisper, obviously discussing their brother's relationship. Angelica looked over her shoulder, making sure she had a minute to speak freely to her sisters before Alex and John joined them. She immediately began talking since they didn't have much time. "I have a strange feeling about this. We were right, they confessed that they aren't actually dating, they'll tell you the whole story themselves over breakfast. For now, I need you to listen to me, don't tell anybody else that this is fake. Just let them keep pretending."

Eliza and Peggy both were clearly upset and promptly started protesting her request but Angelica silenced them with a hand gesture, "I know that you're angry at Alex and believe me I am too, but I don't think they know what's going on anymore themselves. Haven't you seen the way they look at each other? I think there is something between them and they just haven't figured it out yet. This might have started as a joke but let's count together what we know. They clearly share opinions on most things and have the same interests. Everybody believed them since they undeniably have great chemistry too. And honestly? I am convinced that John is in love with Alex, the way he follows him around like a puppy, doing everything Alex asks of him? You don't do that for a friend, maybe for an evening or two but not like this."

Eliza interrupted her, "Okay okay we get it. There is something between them. You're right, Alex isn't exactly quick on the uptake when it comes to emotions. Let's just hope that John doesn't give up until Alex gets himself together," she summarized while placing a full can of coffee on the table. Peggy tilted her head thoughtfully, "but wouldn't it be better if they stopped lying to themselves and everybody else? I don't think Alex will understand what he wants as long as he still has what he wants? Maybe ending this would make him realize," she said.

Angelica shook her head, "no, no that wouldn't work. It might be too early, give him some more time to get attached to John.nThe more difficult situations they face together the more he will see how much they need each other. Yesterday night when I was angry I set up a meeting with our parents, I told them Alex wanted them to meet somebody. I thought to do that might have been a mistake, but maybe it wasn't. Alex always said he would tell mom and dad once he found a guy he wanted to be with for real. What better way to make him understand that John is that guy than to just throw him in that situation with him. We can't forget that this isn't only about Alex, John needs their lie to go on as well. Apparently, his father isn't very accepting. He plans to come out to his family soon anyway and Alex helped him come up with something to make them reconsider their worldview so they won't abandon John. If I understood correctly, Alex will be with him when he tells them."

Eliza took over again, "that's terrible, I had no idea. I can't imagine how he must feel, having to worry about his own family accepting him for something he can't help. I mean, Alex is just nervous but deep down he knows that our parents will be fine with it," she said while leaning back in her chair, honest concern in her eyes. Peggy looked down at her plate, in her opinion it was too early in the morning to discuss such a serious matter. Especially since all of this could be considered none of their business.bShe looked up at her sisters, "I get what you mean, this just isn't the right time. We also shouldn't forget that John actually still lives with Jefferson. We can't give that guy the satisfaction to have them stage a break up after what he got to hear from them at the party," she said scornfully. Eliza laughed, "you're just as bad as Alex, the two of you are so god damn petty." Peggy grinned unapologetically as she pulled a black hair tie from her wrist and struggled to get all of her hair in a high ponytail. Angelica stepped behind her, snatched the tie away and put her sister's hair up for her.

She was still trying to figure out a way to help them on the right path, "Maybe we should challenge them a little, try and make them question themselves?" she commented, almost absent-mindedly. Eliza continued, "so we can all agree to keep quiet for now?" Silent nodding was all the answer she got since John and Alex entered the kitchen in just that moment.

John's Pov

They were on their second can of coffee when Eliza voiced how sad it was they weren't actually dating since they had been such a great match. Alex told her that Angie had said the same but otherwise left it uncommented on. Then Peggy spoke up, "Okay, I think I get what's going on and, as insane as it sounds, even what got you in that situation. But why on earth are you still acting like a couple right now? All of us know you aren't dating! There is not one reason for you guys to be sitting that close or to hold hands!" she was clearly upset, probably because she had been so happy for Alex.

The three girls looked at them expectantly. Alex had decided to actually stop lying to his sister about this, "Because we've made it a habit to act like a couple at all times. I also like being close to John and am exploiting this mercilessly," he told them with not one bit of shame in his voice. John considered that to be the right moment to pull Alex even closer, simply because he felt like it. When Angelica had woken him he had wanted to kiss Alex so badly because he had been sure it would be his last chance. He was relieved that it hadn't been. Peggy was still high key annoyed, "you guys are still disgustingly cute together, it's not fair. Angie, tell them it's not fair." Her statement earned her a round of much-needed laughter. They finished their breakfast together and Angie finally broke it to her sisters that their parents were expecting them to be at their place at 8 pm sharp for family dinner. After a few rounds of Alex and Angie pushing the blame around an increasingly frustrated Peggy told them she had other plans. She quickly came to the conclusion that she'd have to cancel her other plans. Angie and Alex both apologized.

After breakfast, they all said their goodbyes. Laf had actually agreed to pick them up since he should have brought them home yesterday. They left in a rush when the doorbell rang, knowing that Lafayette didn't have much time. In the car Alex spoke up again, "So, dinner with my parents. Is this fine with you?" he asked jokingly as if he expected John to refuse. John shrugged, "if you want me around I'll be there. Your decision." Alex looked at him with a strange kind of hope in his eyes, and something else John couldn't quite place. "I'd actually really like that. I didn't expect to come out to them this soon, I think having you around would really help. Even if it means I'll have to lie to them," Alex admitted.

John smiled at him reassuringly, "Sure, introduce me to your parents as your boyfriend. No big deal. Honestly just tell me if there is anything I should avoid saying and maybe what they'd like to hear or something. I'll do whatever you want. You are helping me with my family too after all." John truly didn't mind, so far he liked every Schuyler he had met, how bad could the people who raised them be? Lafayette seemed to have other things on his mind, as the meaning of the conversation he had just overheard came through to him he abruptly hit the brakes. He quickly regained control and began driving again, ignoring John's and Alex's startled expressions because of the harsh stop. He began rambling, "Alex, you are going to introduce him to your parents? Tonight? And you plan on coming out to them? Who are you and what did you do to my best friend? You know what? Don't tell me I like you better. It was about time you decided to talk to your parents."

Laf took a deep breath and was about to rent on but Alex interrupted him, "don't be too proud, Angie decided for me. And John, you know you don't have to do this because I'm helping you with your family, right? This is different." John quickly took to answering, "but I want to help you," he said absolutely self-assured" Alex don't worry, I will be there and I want to be there. I'd also do this if you weren't helping me with my family, I promise." Alex sunk into his seat, "good. Because I don't think I'd manage to go through with this without you around."


	13. Chapter 13

John didn't know what to say, luckily for him, Laf chimed in, "Alex this isn't meant as critic in any way, but during all of your past relationships, you found excuses not to tell your parents. None of the guys you dated were good enough to meet them in your opinion, what is different now?" he kept glancing back and forth between them and the road. Alex turned to look out of the window and appeared to be contemplating his answer. Eventually, he mumbled, "because John is. Good enough to meet them, I mean." Laf understood his best friend without words in most situations, about this however he had been wrong. Now it dawned on him that his friend's way of viewing life hadn't changed, nor had his reasons to not tell his parents, and he hadn't had a change of mind in any way either. Alex simply had found the person that was worth it all, the one who did meet all his expectations and who he could see himself together with even in far future. With John there was no reason not to tell his parents, he hadn't needed a change of mind, only the right person. And he would introduce him to his parents even if it wasn't real, to pretend like he had the perfect relationship he always wanted and get as much of the experience as possible. Even if it meant lying and getting hurt in the end.

The only question was whether or not Alex was aware of what he was doing. He did have a history of going through with complex plans on instinct after all. The rest of the car ride it stayed relatively quiet. Laf dropped Alex off first and John promised him one last time he'd be there when he told his parents before they separated. There was a strange shift of atmosphere in the car after Alex was gone. Laf seemed like he wanted to say something but couldn't find the right words, finally he said, "don't play games with him, John I actually like you but if you hurt him I'll make you regret it. Sorry about the harsh words but that's how it works with him and me."

John was more than a little surprised if not to say shocked about Lafayette's words, "what do you mean? Why should I play games with him? Do you have any idea how much he means to me by now? I'd never hurt him." Upon Johns sincere surprise he stopped pushing the subject and apologized, justifying it with being worried about his friend. John was confused and startled, he wondered whether Laf had guessed that he was actually in love with Alex but couldn't really make any sense of his words. Lafayette's speech had also reminded him of something else. He had barely spent any time with Hercules lately, of course Herc also was busy with his own new relationship but John still felt like he should talk to him more often after all they'd been through together. A strange wave of courage came over him, woken by the guilt over not spending time with his friend.

He straightened his shoulders and turned the situation around, "I don't know how much Hercules has told you about just how close friends he and I are, but I have to warn you. The rules that apply to Alex and you also apply to Hercules and me. You better not hurt him, in any way, ever. I actually think your relationship is good for him, he seems a lot happier lately, just don't let that change. Like you said, I actually like you, and I'm sorry about the harsh words but that's how it is." Laf appeared critical at first but then he smiled and said, "I have no intention to hurt or leave him, and I'm glad he'd have you at his side if anything were to go wrong."

With that, the tension was gone and they had reached some kind of silent agreement. When they stopped at Johns' place he was happy to think that he had now without a doubt, made a new friend. He considered working on an essay that was to be handed in soon but he forgot about that idea as quickly as it came. He hadn't spent much time alone at his place when his phone rang. To his surprise, it was Peggy who was calling him. He picked up and it didn't take long for him to understand that she had called to make sure he and Alex really weren't dating. She still couldn't believe it.

She even asked if they were sure they hadn't started to date for real without noticing since they never stopped pretending. They talked for several minutes, just joking around before he remembered that Peggy had had to cancel something for the family dinner. John asked her what that had been about since it sounded a lot like date plans. Peggy turned all silent, not wanting to admit anything. John could practically hear her blush on the phone. He had already suspected her to not be a good secret keeper and was proven right when she a minute later admitted to seeing Maria Reynolds behind her sister's backs. They ended up talking like old friends, about Peggy's relationship and Johns fake relationship, school, and many other things. Next time he looked at the clock he almost dropped the phone in shock, he had less than half an hour left till Alex would pick him up. Which meant the same for Peggy, she cursed when he brought it to her awareness. They quickly said their goodbyes and hung up.

 

While they drove to the Schuylers house Alex told him everything he should know to avoid uncomfortable conversations. There wasn't much he had to keep in mind, from what he told him. Alex kept talking nonetheless, he even repeated himself a couple of times. Usually, he wouldn't do that and John was under the impression that Alex was just talking to distract himself, desperately trying to forget what lay ahead of them. John listened patiently to everything until Alex parked the car and they walked towards an old house that could be compared to a small mansion. They had almost reached the front door and Alex was still talking, he kept getting faster and sounded increasingly panicked. He couldn't let Alex face his family as long as he was in this state, he paused which made Alex stop walking as well.

John took Alex's hand and pulled him closer for a tight hug. He could feel Alex relaxing against him as he fell silent. When they let go of each other Alex pulled him back in for a kiss immediately. For not more than a fleeting moment it felt like they were more, like everything was fine and they were a normal couple, in a real relationship, comforting each other. Alex finally let go of him and didn't take his hand this time. John instinctively knew that he needed space and didn't try to get closer to him again. Alex took one last deep breath before he rang the doorbell. Peggy opened, and to every bodies surprise only briefly greeted Alex and then turned to hug John. 'Hug' was the wrong word, she basically threw herself at him. He was baffled but in a positive way. Inaudible for everybody else to hear Peggy whispered in his ear mockingly, "if you tell anybody about my relationship I'm going to kill you." It sounded like an inside joke and they both smiled.

Alex looked at them with confusion but didn't comment which just further proved how stressed he must be, it was absolutely untypical for him to not say what he was thinking. A well-dressed woman in her mid-forties came towards them with a polite smile on her face, "Peggy I had no idea you also invited somebody you wanted to introduce to us," she stepped forward and extended a hand in Johns direction. He hoped his amusement about her assumption wasn't too obvious. He shook her hand, "My name is John Laurens, I have been looking forward to meeting you. To prevent any further misunderstanding you should know that I am not dating your daughter," he glanced over to Alex, waiting for him to regain control over the situation. Alex stood straight and held his head high, merely his hands were shaking slightly and gave away how nervous he was.

At the same time realization dawned on Mrs. Schuylers' face, she looked from John to Alex and back.


	14. Chapter 14

Alex smiled at his mother apologetically and walked closer to John to once more take his hand. A quiet "ohh" was all the reaction they got from her, then she turned to face Alex, "you really should have introduced him, Alex where are your manners? Didn't I teach you anything at all? That's not how you make a good impression," she scolded him. Alex looked up at her with big eyes, "you don't mind? At all?" he asked, sounding so very hopeful and relieved John wished he was in the same situation. There was no way it would be this easy with his family. At least Alex was happy, that was all that mattered. With every word from Mrs. Schuyler John liked her even better, especially when she continued, "My son if I should ever have said or done something to give you the impression this might bother me then I truly need to apologize. All your father and I care about is that our children are happy, healthy and loved." She hugged Alex before she went on, "Do not worry about your father, I'm sure he will mind as little as I do. He might be a little more surprised though, I have to admit, I kind of saw this coming," she trailed off.

Angelica appeared behind her, "literally everyone did, dear brother. No need to look so shocked," she declared. The tension was gone and they all laughed as Mrs. Schuyler lead them to the dining room. They greeted Eliza who was just done setting the table. Everyone got something to drink and Eliza informed them that Mr. Schuyler had been stuck in traffic but was on his way and would join them any minute. All of them were happily chatting when a few minutes later the door was opened again. Alex grabbed Johns hand under the table, as Mr. Schuyler entered the room. He was a tall man and wore an expensive suit, he had the appearance of somebody who commented respect. John sat up a little straighter and squeezed Alex's hand lightly. The three girls instantly jumped to greet their father. Smiling brightly as his daughters all tried to hug him at the same time Mr. Schuyler seemed a lot less intimidating. Alex got up and pulled John with him, he let go of his hand to also hug his father shortly.Then there was a short moment of silence.

Just as John wanted to introduce himself once more, Angelica cut him off, "Dad, meet John Laurens," she all but announced in an obvious attempt to end the silence, sadly not in a very subtle way. John smoothly took over anyway, "Nice to meet you, sir," he said and extended his hand, hoping that he didn't come across too nervous. Mr. Schuyler shook his hand a little more forthfully than would have been necessary and looked at him with a certain kind of wariness in his eyes.

The man most certainly didn't know what to assume in that situation, "Angelica why didn't you announce that you'd bring a guest as well? I was under the intention that Alex was the one who had somebody he wanted to introduce to us?" Alex was mortified due to the prospect of having no way to escape and again, unable to react. Meanwhile Peggy was having an absolute blast. Especially due to both her parents making the exact same wrong assumption. First she only giggled quietly but soon broke out into uncontrolled laughter. Angelica glared at her and her father shot her a confused look, "did I get something wrong," he asked, now mustering John with open curiosity.

Eliza elbowed Alex to get him to finally say something. Now all eyes were on Alex, who emptied his glass in one go and set it aside before he faced his father, "I have to apologize. I should have introduced John since I'm the one who invited him to join us today," Alex took another shaky breath, the room was utterly silent, "Dad, John is the person who I wanted you and Mum to meet. I'm the one who's dating him, not Angelica," he struggled to get the words out and avoided his fathers gaze. Mr. Schuyler took a second to comprehend his sons words before he replied, "well, I'd say that at least explains why Angelica was the one who told us that you were seeing somebody instead of you telling us yourself," he shook his head lightly but seemed mostly amused, "I imagine she blackmailed you into telling us?"

That certainly wasn't the reaction they'd imagined. Alex was startled but answered nonetheless, "yes, kind of. It was about time that I told you anyway, I'm not mad at her. But that wasn't the point I was trying to make?" Mr. Schuyler laughed, "son, did you honestly think I'd mind? Your sisters appear to like him so I imagine your mother and I will too. As long as you're happy I really don't care," he then turned to John, "As far as I can tell this is serious for my son or he wouldn't have told us about you. I'll give you one warning, you better not do anything stupid," he said earnestly. John grinned brightly and all to gladly told him that he in no way intended to.

Mr. Schuyler was about to continue but his wife stopped him, firmly announcing they'd have time to get to know John and that there was no need to interview him on the spot. Angelica chimed back in, "pay up dad, I was right all along" she announced. Now it was Alex who was confused, John, on the other hand, had a faint idea what that might be about. Mr. Schuyler sighed, "I hoped you had forgotten about that, we made that bet at least four years ago," he reached into his pocket and handed his oldest daughter a twenty dollar note, "Okay before we change the subject, even though I don't mind, I do have to say that I don't appreciate surprises. Does one of you three have something to tell me?" he asked, looking at his daughters.

Eliza and Angelica shook their heads laughingly, and Mr. Schuyler had decided they were done with the discussion when Peggy spoke up again. Only after John subtly poked her in the side though. "Well, actually," she began, looking down sheepishly. She didn't have to continue, Angelica interrupted her, "you liar, so you are seeing Sally behind our backs!" she exclaimed. Peggy was honestly annoyed at that, she exchanged a look with John. She had told him everything on the phone about how Angie had cornered her a week ago. For whatever reason Angelica was convinced she was dating a girl named Sally from her social studies class. John saw his chance to for once catch Angelica Schuyler off guard, "come on Angie, don't you think your sister has a better taste? Sally wouldn't be smart enough for her," he teased, grinning smugly and making it clear he knew something they didn't know.

That statement got both, him and Peggy, several raised eyebrows. Peggy blushed heavily, "What? I had to tell somebody...," she blurted out. Eliza was the first person to get over the surprise, "so it was John you were talking to on the phone all afternoon? I suppose that kind of makes sense." Angelica wasn't happy at all, she hated not knowing things, especially about her siblings. Alex had lost most of his patience as well, which hadn't been much to begin with, "hang on, hang on. Dad, what was that 20 Dollar bet about?" he asked, but nobody seemed to be willing to answer. When Angie and their father not so subtly avoided his gaze he finally got the hint. "Are you guys kidding me right now? You made a bet whether I was into men or not? Four years ago? I didn't even know four years ago! You should have told me, that would've saved me a lot of time," his last words were heavy with sarcasm.

Mr. Schuyler seemed kind of apologetic and embarrassed whereas Angelica just shrugged. Mrs. Schuyler was still waiting for her youngest daughter to continue what she had been about to say, "why don't you tell us the name of whoever you are actually seeing, dear?" She tried to pass it of as a casual question. Peggy was biting her lip and her eyes darted across the room, John tried to comfort her, he reassuringly squeezed her shoulder. She looked around from her expectant parents and sisters gaze to Johns calm and steady one and Alex, who was still pouting about the bet but seemed to be encouraging. Her eyes lingered on Alex a second longer than on everybody else, then she said, "I'm dating Maria Reynolds."

Immediately chaos ensued, Alex was the first to say something as everybodies expressions fell, "Maria Reynolds. As in my Ex-Girlfriend?" The surprise was clearly written all over his face, their parents wore similar expressions. John didn't know what to think.


	15. Chapter 15

Only Eliza and Angelica didn't seem to be even the slightest bit bothered. They had always liked Maria and were now happily congratulating their sister and laughing at the others startled faces. The big difference, however, was that John wasn't surprised about Peggy's announcement, but about Alexs'. "You dated Maria Reynolds? Alex how come you never mentioned that?" John crossed his arms as he spoke. He quickly uncrossed them when he saw what that must have looked like, he didn't want to appear jealous. Alex didn't look away from Peggy as he answered, "Yes, she and I used to date about one and a half years ago. Only stayed together for about six months but broke up on mostly friendly terms I'd say, we're definitely friends now," he then turned to face everybody else as well, "Before this gets even more awkward, I should tell you that us breaking up back then was completely my fault, I owe Maria that much. So, yeah, I guess you two really are a better match than she and I were."

It was clear that Alex wasn't happy about having to admit that, and his parents' expressions lead to think that they had assumed the break up had been Maria's fault. Peggy briefly hugged Alex, "you know that she has forgiven you long since, right? And I agree, she and I are a pretty great match," she said lightheartedly. Angie chuckled quietly, "thank god it's not Sally. But Alex, I think it's about time that you tell our parents the whole story and John probably wants to hear why your last relationship failed, too," her evil grin made clear that she really did like Maria. "I mean, you can't let the poor girl face our parents when they still think of her as one of your Exes."

Mr. And Mrs. Schuyler clearly expected their son to answer, but John saw how uncomfortable Alex was and decided he didn't need to hear that story. He was holding Alex's hand under the table again as he chimed in, "you don't have to explain anything to me if you don't want to, I trust you," John said and could have sworn he heard a quiet 'awww' from Eliza's direction.

Alex calmly went on anyway, "like I said, I owe her. I guess I really should tell all of you. So to put it as short as possible, I cheated. Well kind of, I was texting with some girl for about a month and when I realized in which direction those texts were going I, let's say I didn't stop replying as fast as I should have. I told Maria eventually, but only when I finally realised that it probably meant our relationship wouldn't have a future anyway. I tried to apologize, and since I didn't go to meet that girl behind her back she actually forgave me. But the trust between us was gone and it was simply better for both of us to break up." He still appeared sincerely sorry as he thought back to that time, "by far not my proudest moment, but I learned my lesson," he admitted, "So now you know. I'm never going to be that stupid again, I promise."

Both his parents were clearly not proud of him in that moment. His mother was the first to speak, "Alex, I can't believe you broke the poor girls trust like that. That she actually forgave you proves that at least she has character strength," she shook her head slightly, "I don't know what else to say about this, I'm speechless. I just hope that you meant it and really did learn from that. I also hope that you didn't just drive your possible future away with a mistake from your past," she said ominously with a glance in Johns direction. John hadn't expected to be pulled back in the center of attention so soon, he immediately pulled Alex closer and reassuringly squeezed his hand, "definitely not, Alex don't worry about that. If you say that won't happen again then I believe you. I mean, we just hadn't talked about past relationships in general, right? You wouldn't have lied to me if I had asked?" John hoped he didn't sound too desperate as he was once again struggling to keep in mind that it was all just an act. Alex had no reason to reassure him nor did he have to explain, because they weren't dating.

Mr. Schuyler was the next to say something, "son, consider yourself lucky that John isn't breaking up with you on the spot. Like your mother said, don't let that happen again, we raised you better than that," he said scoldingly. Alex nodded but stayed silent. Angelica spoke up, "This conversation has me wondering, John, if you're so willingly believing Alex then that doesn't mean you've done something worse in one of your past relationships, right?" she asked curiously, with some well hidden weary. He jumped to his own defense right away, that was just an unnecessary accusation he decided.

"Angie sometimes I'd really like to know how you come to conclusions like that. But I can calm you, I most definitely haven't. I only have one past relationship anyway, and there's no big story behind that," he saw that she was about to question him further so he quickly continued, "If you must know, that relationship ended because he moved to Geneva. I really thought we could make a long distance relationship work for us, he didn't and cheated on me only a few weeks after he moved there. End of story." John took a deep breath, he hadn't meant to tell them that much but now it was to late. Angelica was clearly sorry about having asked and her mother scolded her quietly about asking a guest such a rude question.

To get the focus off of him again, and because he wanted to know John asked in Alex direction, "the way Angie said 'one of your Exes' leads me to assume that there are quite a few?" he questioned. Alex appeared unsure, but he was never one to avoid a question or give an unclear answer, "Yes, I have dated many people, mostly women. I know it doesn't look like that right now but I honestly only ever had the best intentions. I wanted something that would actually last, built of trust. I'm glad to think that I can stop searching, because John, what you and I have is what I was looking for all along. I mean it." Alex didn't break eye contact like he usually did when he was telling a lie, and Johns heart stopped. Mrs. Schuyler looked at her son like all of her faith in him had suddenly been restored. The three girls were swooning while still shooting Alex curious or knowing, almost smug looks that nobody else seemed to understand. Like so often before John wished he was as good with words as Alex.

He tried to speak his mind anyway. "When we first met I didn't even know I was looking for somebody, but it didn't take more than half a conversation and I knew that I'd never want to live without you again," he told Alex honestly. John was aware that the Schuylers were listening but his words weren't for the show or to convince anybody. He hadn't thought about what he wanted to say, just about what he was feeling. As John spoke, the bitter realization of the truth behind his words dawned on him. All this time he had tried to convince himself that this was nothing, only a crush, but now there was no denying the truth any longer. His feelings for Alex were much, much deeper then he wanted them to be and letting go would be devilishly painful. John was never the type of person who fell in love easily, but when he did he fell hard. He was still only paying attention to Alex when everybody else had moved on. Mr. Schuyler was amused about how in love they were and everybody else seemed to be as well. Soon the topic of conversation shifted back to Peggy and Maria.

The rest of the evening passed in a similar manner, they had dinner together and talked for hours. Luckily John wasn't the only one who was being interviewed duo to Peggys announcement. That night when he got back home, John collapsed on his bed, thinking if people were rain, he was drizzle and Alex was a hurricane.


	16. Chapter 16

One week later on Thursday they spontaneously decided, or rather Laf decided, that they should go on a double date. Not even half an hour after that decision had been made, Laf, Herc, John, and Alex sat squeezed around a small table in their favorite cafe. It was lunchtime and they hadn't had the chance to simply talk and spend time together as friends for at least a week, all of them were happy about the distraction from their hectic lifes. Only John was slightly uncomfortable, ever since his realization about the feelings he had for Alex he had been trying to distance himself. As If that would change anything, on the contrary, missing Alex just made it worse. When the waitress came to take their orders John jokingly told her he wanted a coffee as dark as his mood and pesonality. Probably not the smartest thing to do since he was trying to hide how miserable he was but his darker humor always came through when he wasn't feeling all that great. Luckily the others did take it as nothing but a joke and Alex told the startled waitress to bring John a white vanilla mocha as an answer to his request. The others laughed and even John smiled a little.

Laf was in an overly good mood, "on a double date with my best friend, I thought that would never happen," he said. Hercules agreed and grinned brightly at John. Alex expression gave off that he felt the need to explain or correct something. John felt like he was missing out on some major misunderstanding that was going on. Hercules shifted in his seat and without anything said, understood what Alex almost guilty expression and Johns miserable one meant. Herc slightly leaned back, "you guys still haven't figured things out, I can't believe it," he groaned.

Lafs good mood went down the drain, he accusingly looked at Alex, "mon ami, this has to be a joke? I was convinced you were finally actually dating? You even introduced him to your parents, come on!" Laf put his hands over his face in exasperation. Alex sighed, he knew that his friends just wanted him to be happy after all and he tried his best to lighten the mood, "Who are we kidding, John is way out of my league! He's such a catch, even my parents had trouble believing he'd date me. And honestly John, last weekend was A-class acting from your side. There was a moment when we talked about my Exes were I actually thought you were jealous," Alex said jokingly. He was the only one who laughed though.

John sunk even further into the armchair, while Hercules seemed to be alarmed about the turn the conversation had taken. Judging by the look on his face Herc was truly sorry for John, and that somehow just made it worse. Laf had taken it upon himself to stare Alex down with a way angrier glare than John would have expected from such a cheerful and kind person. Alex was completely oblivious to what was going on around him, he calmly stirred his coffee.

John decided he was tired of the endless game they were playing, or maybe he just wanted to take a risk. Waiting around and not doing anything wasn't like him at all. He had to take his chance so he'd know once and for all or he'd never stop waiting and being miserable, he concluded. He swallowed heavily and mentally counted down from three before he spoke. "If you think I'm such a catch, then why don't you actually date me?" John was aware that he was placing all of his hopes on one card but he no longer cared about the consequences. Herc and Laf immediately went silent, but that wouldn't have been necessary. Alex laughed like one would at a mediocre type of joke but ignored him otherwise, moved on as if nothing had happened. He had the audacity to laugh, John couldn't believe it. In that moment he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. Alex couldn't possibly be that oblivious, cloud he?

Suddenly John wanted nothing more than to leave the small cafe. He and Hercules exchanged a short glance and Herc nodded subtly. Herc always knew what was going on inside Johns' head and took action right away, "Laf, I just remembered that I have to study for this super important test John and I got coming up. Have you started studying for that already? I really could use some help. I think we should go to my place and work on that. Only John and I, if you two don't mind? Go on and have fun without us." John sighed with relief, he didn't even have to say anything, he just nodded along. Alex and Laf both protested promptly, it hadn't been the smoothest lie since John and Hercules didn't actually share any classes. Herc softly kicked Laf under the table, Lafayette got the hint and dropped the subject, Alex didn't. "What! You can't be serious? I thought we'd spend all afternoon together, come on you guys!" Laf tried his best to distract Alex as John and Hercules paid and struggled to make a fast getaway.

Once they were outside John gratefully breathed in the fresh air while Hercules promptly began cursing, "That goddamn idiot, he can't be serious, can he? This is starting to remind of your last relationship. We both know that the only reason I didn't kick that guy into the next year back then was that I'd have had to buy a plane ticket to Geneva first. I'm not letting any guy bring you down like that again. Honestly John, I've had enough, I'm gonna go right back in there and call him out on his bullshit." Strangely enough Hercs outburst made John feel a lot better, at least he'd have his friend on his side no matter what. He stopped him anyway, starting a fight in whatever way wasn't a solution to this. "I appreciate that you're on my side but fighting your boyfriends best friend is exactly the type of thing you shouldn't do after only three weeks of dating. Just because my relationship is messed up doesn't mean yours has to be too. I bet you would like Alex as a friend, he's good company. I know that's not what it looks like right now but that's not his fault. It's not like he asked me to develop feelings for him. I had to get out of there but now I just want to think of something else. Please," John said quietly, looking on the ground. He still felt Hercules pitiful or worried looks on him, but he complied nonetheless. Together they walked to a small park close by, neither said a single word. Soon they agreed to split up and meet again the next day.

When John got back home he wasn't feeling much better. He was pissed off because he couldn't stand self-pitying, annoyed with his stupid feelings, sad because he had actually looked forward to going out with his friends and heartbroken due to Alex's remark. He angrily slammed the door shut and planned to storm to his room and not talk to anybody for the rest of the day. Jefferson changed those plans for him. John cursed when his roommate stepped between him and the door to his room, a smug smirk on his face as always. Thomas raised an eyebrow at him. John spoke first, not wanting to give the idiot a chance to make this day even worse, "Whatever you're about to say, I suggest you save it for another day and move your arrogant, politically incorrect arse elsewhere," he breathed out. Thomas huffed, "I just wanted to tell you that your parents called. Has your attitude something to do with Hamilton? I told you to stay away from that guy!" Thomas didn't even hesitate before trying to find a way to benefit from Johns misery.

John couldn't take it anymore, all his repressed emotions were battling to be noticed first. His temper burst and Jefferson of all people was the one who got to hear all of it. "You unbelievable and utter moron, I've literally never felt worse in my life and all you can think of is trying to find a way to make it Alex's fault. Are you kidding me? I thought you had some kind of decency left but you know what? I fucking hate you with every inch of my being," his voice rose with every word and the pure anger pulsing through his veins made it easier to lie. "That's not a whole lot of inches," Thomas stated coldly. Suddenly Johns mind was clear, "maybe you absolute dumbass wouldn't feel emasculated by types of intelligence that differ from yours if your manhood was rooted in something other then putting down people you don't understand. Or what else is this about? This whole petty feud you and Alex got going on, I get why Alex is still fighting you but I just don't see your motivation. Don't get your hopes up though, Alex didn't do anything wrong, he's the only reason I'm not completely losing my mind." Johns' throat felt sore and he had trouble breathing.

"He seems to be doing a pretty horrible job then," Jefferson sarcastically retorted. Johns chest was tightening and being able to think straight again wasn't helpful either. Acting on instinct he could, but now he was overthinking. For the second time that day he had the strong urge to flee from a situation as fast as possible. "Are you going to tell me what my parents said or are you just blocking my doorway because you need somebody to listen to your smart-ass remarks?" His voice came out raspy and low, his energy was pretty much gone. Thomas tilted his head slightly, "I will tell you why they called if you tell me why you're so upset," he declared. The following lie slipped worryingly easy of his lips, "I don't know how long you talked to my parents, if it was for more then 5 minutes it shouldn't be difficult to guess that this is about them. My father is the most intolerant person in all of South Carolina and they don't know that I'm gay."

Thomas crossed his arms and still made no attempt to move away from the door, "that wasn't the whole story," he stated. Only then John began wondering why his roommate appeared so calm after everything he had said. With a sigh Thomas continued, "Your mother called about an hour ago. Didn't say much only that she wants you to finally answer your phone, sounded kind of detached and irritated if I'm being honest. Your turn again." John instantly began building the new information into his story, "That must have been shortly after I spoke to my father on the phone. I've been trying to carefully hint that I'm not interested in a woman, I tried to pass it off as a joke. My father had enough of those jokes, he basically told me that if I were to be with a man he would do everything in his power to exclude me from the family. That being gay is nothing but a sickness."

It wasn't completely made up. That phone call had happened, just not today but shortly before his first boyfriend moved to Geneva roughly two years ago. Johns stomach still turned at the memory, but it also made an idea form in his head. Who needed subtleness anyway? He was going to follow the same prinzip with Alex, one obvious joke after the other until he'd eventually realize. Flirting with Alex couldn't be too difficult, right? It was worth a shot. He was aware of too many lies Thomas had made him believe to feel bad about not being honest. "I couldn't take it anymore and hung up on him, which I'm probably going to regret." Internally he thanked his endlessly procrastinating side for making him not pick up the last few times his mother had called.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked the new chapter! Please comment!


	17. Chapter 17

Thomas still wasn't satisfied with Johns answer, "and where is your oh so great boyfriend now? If you're as down as you seem then why isn't he with you?" John struggled to find the right words, he didn't want to justify himself anymore. "He is not with me because I told him I'd rather be alone and he actually respects my decisions," John said with a pointed glare before he added, "why do you care anyway? You hate me, you think I'm naive and a bother to live with. You made that clear more then once." Maybe if he was the one who asked the questions he wouldn't feel like he was being cornered anymore.

"Because despite what you think I'm not completely heartless. I did speak with your mother for quite a while and I understand you better than you think. My family is from the countryside of Virginia, they're not exactly open minded either. They're so bad in fact, that I'm not out to anybody, besides James. Since you had guessed that already I thought I might as well tell you why I'm not out. John, the reason I was so angry and hateful towards you is that I just couldn't handle how you did whatever the hell you wanted. Despite your family when I just can't do the same, I'm deadly afraid somebody could see me, someone who knows them. My life would be over. I'd never dare to openly date or join a pride parade or whatever. Meanwhile you just ignore the risk. I know that's no excuse, I shouldn't have directed my anger towards you. What I wanted to say is that I actually do like you," Thomas admitted in a rush, almost whispering. John couldn't believe it and was hit with empathy, now he did feel bad for yelling at the guy. Many past discussions that had made him dislike his roommate suddenly made a lot more sense.

For example, that time John went to a pride parade and Thomas wouldn't even look at him for three days. "I am so truly sorry, I shouldn't have judged you before knowing the whole story. Is there anything I could do? I know meet-up places, specifically for gay people, nobody would recognize you there! I'd even go with you if you want." He helplessly reached out to place his hand on Thomas shoulder, who laughed humorless in turn, "Are you kidding me? After how I treated you all this time you now simply forgive me? You're actually offering me help too? I can't believe you, nor do I understand you, but I feel like my life would have been a lot easier if we'd have been friends. Even though you're still an insufferable ball of sunshine sometimes," Thomas said shaking his head, exasperation overly visible in his eyes. John huffed unsurely, "we could still be friends you know? Just maybe try not to insult my boyfriend all the time..." Thomas nodded but looked like he couldn't believe that was a possibility, "If you don't mind, I could actually use some time on my own too now. Just don't tell anybody what I told you. And John? Don't let your parents bring you down because if you can't get through with this, I will never be able to." That was the last thing he said before he finally turned away and went to his room. John was left standing alone in the hallway, an insufferable swirl of emotions in his mind. This conversation had at least given him something else to focus on. There was no way he would cancel the dinner with Alex and his parents now.

That night he struggled with the dull pain of his aching heart and the longing not to be alone. The next day he did his best to avoid people in general, which didn't work out in his favor either. Alex texted him every few minutes. John had never met a person who cared less about double texts potentially appearing desperate. He got more than twenty texts from Alex within two minutes, it had to be some kind of record. John ignored all of them until eventually, his phone rang. To his relief it was Peggy who was calling him. She had wanted to check on him since nobody had heard from him all day long. They chatted for a bit, he tried to assure her that everything was alright. Peggy saw right through him and kept questioning him. Maybe it was the emotional conversation he had had with Thomas the night before or the lack of sleep but he ended up giving in. He sighed and went ahead to as vaguely as possible explain the situation he was in. Without mentioning Alex all he could say was that he liked somebody and had been dropping the most insanely obvious hints. Peggy sounded reluctant and oddly disappointed but still tried to help him. He told her what exactly had been said and just how resigned he was with the situation. Her advice sadly wasn't all that helpful either, after listening for a while she plainly told him that the guy he was talking about must be too stupid for him in every way. She told him not to waste his time and after a short silence carefully added that Alex would never be that stupid.

John didn't know whether he should laugh or just hang up. That conversation was his life summed up in the most ridiculous and twisted way. John didn't reply as he tried to figure out how to react. Silently he sighed again, drained of all emotion everything he could do was to acknowledge the dark irony. He didn't answer for too long, to occupied with pacing up and down his room, Peggy caught on. An almost inaudible 'damn' was all she said, and John knew that she knew. He cursed, panicked and tried to talk his way out of the situation but it was no use. Peggy promised she wouldn't tell though, and oddly enough tried to comfort him. The fact that Alex was her brother was still lurking in the back of his head though, which made it all the slightest bit more uncomfortable.

"This will end after we handled this thing with my parents," he assured her. John didn't want her to think he was clinging to her brother no matter what. To his surprise, Peggy's answer was a desperate, 'no' without any context. "John, he needs you, he just hasn't realized it yet. Give him more time," Peggy added. He laughed humorlessly, "Don't do that, I don't want to start hoping again. I would end this right now but I had to kind of promise somebody to go through with this and I won't be able to without him. It's a long story, please don't ask." She sounded thoughtful, still trying to help him, "I can't believe Alex didn't get what you were trying to say, that's not like him at all." They came to no conclusion on how to go on, even though Peggy kept up her optimism. John felt better, despite having spilled his secret once more. The following days he focused on how to deal with his parents. He apologized to Alex for not texting back and set up a date and time with his parents. They'd meet them in a hotel restaurant not far from Alex's place. His excuse to bring Alex was that Alex knew the owner of the restaurant (which was true) and that they wouldn't have gotten a reservation for that date without him (which wasn't true). His parents hadn't been happy when he told them he wanted to bring a friend, they had expected him to bring a girlfriend. John knew them well enough to calm them simply by casually mentioning how politically active and successful Alex's parents were. It worked, and having a bigger problem that demanded his attention helped him to deal with his heartbreak immensely. In the few days leading up to the family dinner, he got a tiny glimpse of what it would feel like to actually be nothing but close friends with Alex. John hadn't talked to Thomas again but he now had the motivation to go on with his plan.


	18. Chapter 18

John and Alex met one last time in preparation for the meet up with Mr. and Mrs. Laurens. They sat together at Johns place, Jefferson had vanished without a comment as soon as John told him that Alex was coming over. He made a mental note to at least try and fix the situation between them once he had handled the things with his family. John was done with his nerves, just thinking about what he planned on doing. Alex had tried to calm him all afternoon but it was no use. They had made a list of things to talk about with his parents which shouldn't lead to any assumptions on his parent's side. They also had prepared a list of topics to avoid in order to make them like Alex. The second list unsurprisingly proved to be a lot more difficult than the first one.

Alex's Pov:

He had no clue what exactly had lead John to speak of his parents with such an irrational fear in his voice. Sure, from what he knew they weren't the nicest parents one could wish for, nor easy to talk to, he thought, looking at the two rather long lists in front of him. And yet something just didn't seem right, he knew that John had reason to dread the dinner they had planned. Still, it almost sounded as if he had already experienced the darkest side of his family and was fearing to go through something even worse. Alex was convinced that John trusted him, they knew each other better than almost anyone else and yet he was hiding something. John was hiding something from him and it was slowly tearing down Alex's patience and sanity. He desperately tried to change something, to come up with that one idea that was brilliant enough to get Johns smile back. He had never before wanted to help somebody this badly, seeing John all unhappy and hopeless woke a kind of anger in him he hadn't known he possessed. What had those people done to him? He looked up at John and saw the best person he had ever met.

The first moment they had laid eyes on each other something had clicked between them, it just felt right to be with him. Alex knew that he had a tendency to get lost in his own darker thoughts or old grudges but John with his cheerfulness just had to present him with one of his bright smiles and the world suddenly wasn't such a bad place anymore. John, with his unwavering loyalty and optimism, good looks and intelligence, truly was a dream come true, just not his. He slung his arm around John as if he was trying to hold on, to silently ask him to stay. John leaned closer to his touch and comfortably rested by Alex's side, resignation still openly visible on his face. John was the first to break the silence, without facing him he said, "Maybe we should end this after we're done with my family, we're both in way too deep," he mumbled, voice almost breaking. Alex's heart dropped, he had known that this would eventually come to an end and now he had to face that truce. Not wanting to make it real, to push off the decision just a little longer he said, "maybe," in an uncommitting tone as if he hoped John would just take it back. Alex didn't know what made him so sad all of a sudden, not having to lie anymore should come as a relief and it didn't mean that he wouldn't see John anymore. Yet it would change everything drastically. It came to him as a blunt, painful realization that he wouldn't even get to hug John anymore the way he did at the moment.

His throat felt dry and he pulled John closer, who in response turned to face him. They had moved at the exact same time and John gasped in mild surprise, neither had expected to find themselves that closely together, lips almost touching. Alex thought his brain had stopped working altogether. The smell of Johns cologne filled his lungs and lured him in. Up close he looked even better which he could have sworn wasn't even possible. His eyes darted from Johns' eyes to his lips and back, he looked so helpless. Unconsciously aware of the fact that he might not be that close to him again very often he leaned in and pressed his lips to Johns, expecting to be pushed back any second. John kissed him back equally passionate, and all the rights, wrongs and worries about tomorrow no longer mattered. Alex had given up to try and make sense of the situation, all that counted was that John reacted as if he had wanted and needed this just as much as he had. There was an endless number of unspoken thoughts and feelings in the contact of lips and both desperately tried to hold on even tighter, to express the feelings they were unable to express with words.There was no way of knowing how much time they had spent completely wrapped up in each other when the whole mood began to shift. Their kisses soon were filled with longing above anything else, more desperate but in a less clingy way. Alex didn't know what was happening, all he did know was that he wanted John, badly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the short chapter, I'm kind of suffering from writers block at the moment :/ I hope you enjoy it anyway! (Just a little reminder that I appreciate comments like hell)


	19. Chapter 19

Everything might change today, Alex thought as he looked into the mirror one more time while adjusting his tie. The day he and John dreaded so much, most likely for different reasons though, had arrived. Lost in his thoughts he grabbed his phone and jacket before finally leaving. He got into his car and turned on the radio in the hopes of finding a distraction. Alex knew that there was a good chance that tonight was the last time he'd ever be allowed to call John his, even if it was a lie. He mindlessly hated it, all night long he had tossed and turned trying to find an excuse for this to go on. He hadn't been able to find a solution and hadn't gotten any sleep either. His mind had been turning around pictured memories from the previous night; Johns lips on his own, bodies pressed together and whispered words along the lines of 'I need you'. Alex was sure he was losing his mind, all of the ' what if's ' and ' would have's ' were slowly dissolving his brain. Mostly the big question of what would have happened last night if they hadn't been interrupted though. He hadn't been about to stop their actions and John hadn't appeared like he would either. They would have eventually ended up in Johns bedroom, Alex was sure of it. If it hadn't been for Hercules who suddenly burst in.

Herc had immediately begun apologizing and rambling about not ever using the second key to the apartment again if it wasn't an emergency. He left again right after, not even telling them why had been there in the first place. Just like that their little bubble had burst and the blissful detachment from reality was gone too. Alex had practically fled the apartment after that incident. Now he drove back that exact same way, to the place he had fled from. The rain was pouring onto the street and the sky was swirling with blues and purples, heavy grey clouds hanging deep and blocking even the last bits of the evening sun. Thunder struck somewhere in the distance and Alex noted the dark irony that the weather matched the swirl of his emotions so perfectly. He parked and pushed away his negative emotions, for John, he thought. John needed him at his very best and he wouldn't mess up, not tonight. He took one last deep breath before he picked up his umbrella from the back seat and pushed open the door of his car. Alex hastily opened the umbrella and hurried to the front door. He didn't have to ring the doorbell, John already stood in the doorway. He greeted him with a short hug before he pulled the door closed. Alex held the umbrella above both of them, his free hand found Johns and they ran through the rain back to the car together. Once they were both safely seated, without having been drenched by the rain which seemed like a miracle at the time, Alex finally looked at John fully.

He had never seen John this dressed up, the dark blue almost black vest and matching tie he wore made him look much more mature and sincere. He didn't appear like himself anymore at all and yet managed to make it believable. Maybe the sinister expression on his face was the reason for that. Alex knew that it was only to mask the sadness and fear but still it made him feel uneasy, to see his John that changed up to meet somebodies expectations. John met his eyes with a sad smile which broke the mask for a second, they were still holding hands. There was nothing to be said, Alex decided. He drove off, rain still pouring heavily onto his car. He considered turning the radio back on but quickly forgot about it when he saw how stressed out John appeared. They reached the parking lot of the hotel restaurant almost 15 minutes later, much too soon for his liking. Alex tried to make out whether there was anyone in sight when he parked the car. When he couldn't spot anybody he leaned in closer for a kiss.

John sighed against his lips but pulled back almost instantly, "sorry, it's not that I don't want to, but I just can't risk being seen," he mumbled. "You don't have to apologize," Alex said and softly cupped Johns face with his hands for a second. There was an unnameable kind of tension in the car when Alex spoke up again, "Listen, John, you will get through this, no matter what happens in there, I will be with you. If they really react as badly as you expect them to than they don't deserve you. In the short time since we met, you've changed the way I view life. Don't let their stupidity bring you down. You're wonderful and you don't need them. It might seem like the scariest prospect right now but it's only one dinner. It will be over before you know it and I'll be there to help you move on no matter how this ends." John looked up at him with big, hopeful and yet so helpless eyes, "Can you promise that you won't think less of me? Even if they completely freak out? Alex, I'm not exaggerating, they will probably make a scene and I don't know what they might say or just how rude they will get. Please tell me that you won't take any of it personal," John said with shaking voice.

Alex shook his head lightly, "I can't say that I won't take any of it personal, but I promise you, I will never think less of you for something they say or do. You're your own person John, they don't define you. If there is one thing I know, its that family doesn't start with blood and it doesn't end there either." He pressed one last lingering kiss to Johns' lips. "I don't know how to thank you. You mean the world to me, never forget that" John answered. They both needed a moment to collect their thoughts before they finally left the car, with a safety distance between them. Alex ignored the strange feeling in his stomach which Johns words had induced. By the time they reached the entrance door, it was ten minutes before the agreed meeting time. Their perfect masks were back in place but both felt a lot more at ease.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody!  
> This fanfiction is coming close to an end and I want to thank everyone who stuck with it to this point.  
> There'll be at least three more chapters but I have a plan for the ending and it shouldn't be much more.  
> As always comments are very much appreciated, let me know what you think! <3


	20. Chapter 20

The owner, a short man with a huge smile plastered on his face, came to greet them. They joked with him for a while and let him lead them to their table.

As soon as they had sat down Johns family entered the restaurant, being good five minutes too early. Alex recognized all of them from Johns stories. Mr.Laurens, with his expensive suit and cold expression, was the kind of person who knew nothing other than being respected and feared, that much was clear.

His wife reminded Alex of the type woman one usually saw on magazines next to famous politicians. Her smile was as bright and polite as it was fake. She had her arm linked with her husbands and was obviously representatively used most of the time, a typical trophy wife as his mother always called them.

The only thing wrong with the image of the perfect high society family were the children trailing behind them. Even though they were equally dressed up, none of them cared to maintain the same facade as their parents. Once they had set eyes on John there was no holding back, all three of them stormed past their parents to hug their oldest brother. Alex couldn't hide an amused smile as he watched how James, Martha, and Mary all began talking at the same time, demanding Johns full attention.

He sobered quickly when he saw how unhappy Johns parents were about the public display of emotions. He got up and pretended not to notice the family reunion happening behind him as he went to introduce himself. He tried to remember every little detail John had mentioned, and with his best charming smile, he extended his hand to Mrs.Laurens.

Alex greeted her first, with a perfectly memorized introduction and polite compliment as had been the first step of their plan. He went on to shake hands with Mr.Laurens, not once breaking eye contact with him. For a second he thought Johns father was attempting to break his wrist but the moment went by quickly. He didn't flinch, nor did he comment on it since he thought it probable to be some kind of test. Again he calmly and in the politest manner possible introduced himself.

Mr.Laurens eyes had almost the exact same color as Johns, maybe half a shade darker. The true difference, however, was that Johns eyes never were that cold and detached, they always held a certain warmth that made them shine.

When Mr. Laurens looked away from him Alex couldn't help but shudder noticeably, which was met with a worried glance from John. He merely shrugged as an answer and headed to the table one step behind them. With that the more difficult part of their plan began, from now on he'd have to improvise.

He sat down across from Johns oldest sister, Martha. She was about 17 years old and from what he knew very mature for her age with a major interest in books. Not the worst person to face over dinner he noted. John sat to his right and to his surprise carefully grabbed his hand under the table.

John smoothly took over where Alex had left off in conversation with his parents; "Father, Mother, you've already met Alex. Martha, James, Mary, please meet Alex. And don't forget your manners, he is easily the smartest man at our college. Professors included." Johns siblings rolled their eyes in unison, understanding at once that their brother was out to impress their parents tonight. Alex smirked, he had been warned that this might happen. With all three younger Laurens children being well educated, smart and generally good at reading people it didn't come as a surprise.

The first half an hour went by just like they had hoped and completely according to plan. First Mr.Laurens had scolded John not to exaggerate after the way he introduced Alex to his siblings.

Alex had chimed in with his perfect charming smile and coolly explained to them that he did, in fact, have the best grades. With that, he gained some respect from them and had a great conversation starter. They obviously wanted to ask John about his own grades but didn't want to ask to explicitly in case that could make John look bad in front of him. Alex realized what was going on before John did and managed to integrate into the conversation how much all of the professors liked John and how he had maintained such a high standard from the very beginning.

That remark seemed to calm them, and it made John blush. Martha raised one eyebrow but forgot about it quickly enough. She was way to occupied asking questions about their college life.

James and Mary who were respectively 12 and 10 years old, had decided for themselves that they didn't want to participate in the grownups conversation. They were quietly playing some kind of card game while every now and then shooting John short glances in the hopes he'd say something to them. They had definitely missed their brother.

They ended up discussing politics shortly after they had ordered their food. With that, the perfect first half an hour was over and things started to turn difficult.

Alex continued to charm them, and it appeared to work. They had even offered him to call them by their first names, which according to John never happened with someone they just met ever. Especially not if the person was younger than them. So Henry and Eleanor as he now called them, began testing him on his political views.

He dodged the first few comments carefully, finding something distantly related to the matter which didn't force him to chose a side. Alex absolutely hated doing that and had never been good at it, he was used to sharing his opinions freely no matter what anybody else thought. But he was willing to go along with the game for one night, for John's sake.

They hadn't caught on to what he was doing yet, he and John were effectively taking turns in dividing their attention. Mr. and Mrs.Laurens most certainly were having a wonderful evening so far. They genuinely liked Alex and kept repeating to John that he should make sure that they stayed friends.

Martha engaged more and more in the discussion, to everyone's shock clearly stating that she didn't share her parent's outdated beliefs. Johns father passive aggressively and without looking at his daughter commented; "she doesn't know what she's saying. I only hope that she finds herself a suitable husband whos worldviews she will have to share. She is almost 18 and has to start facing the real world soon," he then turned to Alex apparently lost in thought, frowning, "How old are you again?"

Alex didn't like where that was going at all, "twenty years old, sir" he replied hesitantly. Mrs.Laurens eyebrows shot up as if she had just witnessed the most joyful revelation of all time. Immediately both parents began talking about how intelligent and well behaved their oldest daughter was.

They went on with this until everyone had finished dinner. Alex glanced over at Martha, who was looking down on the table, her face was red and she was avoiding his gaze. Still, he would have needed to be blind not to see how beautiful she was with her long, dark hair and tall stature.

Where they really trying to set him up with her though? No way that this was actually happening. Alex never in his life felt less like flirting with a pretty girl than in this situation. Especially when he saw Johns expression, some weird mixture between hurt and anger. Was he jealous? No, that couldn't be it. Protective of his sister maybe, that's more likely. No matter what it was he had to stop this before it got worse.

It did get worse, before he could even open his mouth Eleanor added; "What I meant to say is that if a charming gentleman such as you would want to go out with her, I am certain that could be arranged." He faked another charming smile, "I am truly sorry to turn down such a tempting offer but I'm afraid my heart is already taken," he announced with a smile on his lips and as casually as one would talk about the weather.

Alex successfully hid how positively sick he felt. The poor girl was treated by her parents like some kind of prize-winning pet. He saw Mrs.Lauren's expression falter for a second and a slight smirk break through her oldest sons mask at the same time.

Sadly she too had noticed Johns smirk. "There is nothing funny about this, maybe if you finally would get your priorities in order and try to find yourself a suitable girl you wouldn't laugh. Seriously, we were expecting you to introduce a girl to us tonight. When will you find one?"

He saw something snap behind Johns' eyes, all evening he had smoothly dodged all of his parent's hints but this time nothing about his mother's remark had been subtle and his answer wasn't going to be either, Alex could feel it.

He tried to take over before everything would be too late, "I don't think John needs to find himself, anyone," he stated. The words were out of his mouth before he considered what they sounded like and how it was too late. At least John had regained his composure, before his more than skeptical parents continued, he told them; "Alex is right, I don't need to find myself, anybody. Even if I did, I would never go looking because you told me to. That's all I'm going to say about this, my relationship is none of your business." John calmly leaned back in his chair with crossed arms.

That was the exact moment Johns father lost his temper; "none of our business?! Our reputation is at stake! There are plenty of girls from good families waiting for you back home and you say this? After everything we've done for you, this is how you thank us? You're the worst kind of disappointment one can have for a son. You aren't studying what we told you to, no, you had to choose law over medicine, and we're paying for you anyway. And now your sister is starting with the same feminist crap you did when you were her age, all because of your bad influence! We went along with this for long enough, trying to let you find your way back to the right path on your own and all of that but things need to change," he spoke with disgust in his voice but kept his tone down to an angry whisper, not wanting to cause a scene.

John was shaking, for a moment pure rage was visible in his eyes but he blinked quickly and his cool attitude was back in place. He had made a decision. Alex hadn't, he acted on a gut feeling the way he did most of the time. He saw John silently suffering next to him and was up on his feet in one solid motion, glaring down on Mr. and Mrs.Laurens.

They appeared uncomfortable and began rambling that John usually wasn't like this at all, that they hoped it wouldn't change the way Alex saw them. They even dared to ask him to help them get John back on the right path.

Alex saw red, he chuckled humorlessly; "no," he said. 'No?' The Laurenses echoed. "Just no. To everything. John is intelligent, kind, brave, loyal, probably the best person I've ever met. If you can't appreciate him you don't deserve him. And he's right about everything. Hell, his sister is great too and you treat both of them like garbage. You can't just decide who your daughter should date. And you can't decide what your son will do with his life either because frankly, it's his life and not yours. I don't even want to get started on what I think  about your political views, honestly, both of you need to get a grip on reality."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, my Wi-fi was down for a few days :/ I hope you enjoy the new chapter anyways! We're starting to get close to the finale, which basically means drama lies ahead...  
> (Subtle reminder to please, please, please comment)
> 
> Additional note: Sorry if my spelling/grammar is worse than usual, my spelling corrector stopped working and I don't have a Beta reader.


	21. Chapter 21

He hadn't raised his voice but he gestured wildly. Johns father stood up and caught Alexs wrist with one hand and violently pulled him forward; "how we raise our children is up to us, and if we think John should find himself a suitable girl he will have to find himself one. End of discussion. If you truly support his... Believes, than I think it is about time for you to leave this restaurant." Alex huffed, "I won't leave without him, and I will never let him down the way you just did," he said while sitting back down stoically.

John appeared oddly relieved about Alexs outburst as if he had actually expected him to get up and leave. The way John faced away from his family, core deep sadness in his eyes and at a loss of words made Alexs gut twist. Alex carefully pulled John closer to him; "now or never, it's your desicion. I'll be right here with you, no matter how you decide," he murmured in the hopes of providing the slightest bit of comfort. John was breathing heavily; "now," he whispered. Then John glanced over to where Alexs hand was beginning to bruise and gasped, that was when he shut down internally and decided that now wasn't the time to be sad about the loss of his parents.

He looked them straight in the eyes, "Just a few minutes ago you liked Alex so much, you wanted him to marry into our family. You know what, you can still have that but without ignoring poor Marthas wishes and consent. I'll gladly marry him. Father, mother the reason that I do not need to, and never will be on the search for a girlfriend is that I'm gay," he had effectively made his parents lose all elloquency due to shock, they sat in front of them with wide eyes and openly gaping. John continued now that he had their full attention, it was too late to consider consequences or be afraid anyway; "I'm gay and I'm in a relationship with Alex. I love him endlessly, I've never in my life been as happy as I am with him by my side. If you can't accept that then that's your problem now, I'm tired of hiding who I am for your comfort," John had begun his speech half whispered but his voice got steadier and louder with every word.

Alex felt strangely proud of John and his incredible braveness. He glanced at Johns parents and decided that they hadn't suffered enough yet. With satisfaction he saw that the tension at their table hadn't gone unnoticed by the other guests, most of which were staring at them. He got up and pulled John with him, making sure there was no one around who couldn't see them. Maybe the adrenalin in his veins was to blame, maybe his love for making intolerant people uncomfortable, whatever it was took over his thinking in that moment. Alex leaned in and kissed John full on the mouth, in front of everybody. John remained still in shock for a split second before burying his hands in Alexs hair and kissing him back animatedly. The emotion between them almost made it feel electric, Alex thought, as pure joy rushed trough him. They stopped kissing but didn't let go of each other and Alex was certain he had never felt this alive before.

He flashed the people around him a bright smile, they stood surrounded by stunned silence. Then he spoke again, loudly; Dear people who are here tonight with us, I am sorry to distract you from your individual evening plans but I would highly appreciate it if you could listen for just a minute, bear with me. Most of you must have heard what was going on at our table and I am only asking one thing of you; if you agree with me and my partner stand up, if you agree with his parents remain seated. Everyone pro feminism, gay rights, against racism and pro equality in general please stand up. Let them see how outdated they are." First there was muttering, then the scratching of chairs being pushed back, then the first ones stood up. The one thing he had always been good at was talking to groups of people and convince others of his opinions, he noted with a pleased smirk. As soon as a young couple had dared to make the beginning many others followed. Old, young, man, woman, couples and families, all of them stood up. Only very few old white man in the back of the room didn't.

Alex looked to his side and saw John, blush spread across his cheeks and smiling shyly. Johns longing to move things and make a difference had finally overshadowed the fact that his fear had come true. "Thank all of you so so much, you have no idea what that means to me right now," John said and was met with assuring smiles from every direction. Before he could face Johns parents one more something clicked and a bright flash followed. Alex turned in surprise to see that one of the waitresses had gotten out her camera and taken a picture of the bizarre moment. She ducked away, "I job at the local newspaper sometimes, this would make a wonderful article. Everybody who doesn't want to be recognisable in the picture just has to tell me," she stated. The people around began laughing and sitting back down, some of them were now even chatting with guests seated at other tables. The whole situation had done wonders for breaking the ice.

When he glanced back at the table he saw that Mr.Laurens was hastily paying and struggling to get away, his wife had an equally hunted expression on her face. Alex clenched his jaw, how absolutely pathetic these two were acting, he still couldn't believe it. At least their younger children weren't having any of it either. All three made a show out of getting up from the table deliberately slowly. Alex smirked, he knew that John had done what he could to corrupt his siblings. It appeared that Martha had taken it upon herself to complete Johns quest. Despite the feeling of having lost this battle, they still had hope to win in the big picture. He took Johns hand and expected the evening to be over. Expected the others to leave, to run away from the scene they had caused and in the best case not bother John again too soon. How deeply and utterly wrong he had been.

When Mr.Laurens walked past them he grabbed Johns arm and pulled him along, "don't you dare to make another wrong move," he growled low and threatining under his breath. Only his wife, John and Alex had heard him. Alex's eyes widened and he rushed after them. Barely a minute later they stood in the parking lot, surrounded by nothing but silence and darkness. Henry Laurens pushed his son away from him with such a force, Alex was surprised that John didn't fall. He rushed to his side anyways, just in case. Now he understood, John had known this would happen and maybe something alike had happened before. The next second that douche was walking towards them again. They could distantly hear Eleanor pleading John to change his mind, that they could find a doctor who would fix him. All Alex saw was a rush of motions out of the corner of his eye, almost more a feeling but he reacted instantly and caught the fist flying towards John.

He let go as if he had burned himself. With all his strength he pushed the man away from him, and most importantly, away from John. Mrs.Laurens shrieked and launched forward, she struggled to get a grip on her husbands arm. He seemed to have no interest in further physical attacks though, and had instead taken to screaming at them full force; "You sicken me, is there anything about you that isn't wrong? I refuse to see you as my son any longer. This is it. You disgust me and I never want to see you again." The words echoed with a sickening finality, and John looked as though the punch had hit him after all. Their whole plan couldn't have gone more collousally wrong.

John was in no state to react, he didn't answer nor did he move an inch and his face had lost all color. Alex carefully, tactically placed himself between John and the threat his family suddenly meant, and yelled right back. He had no concept of how long he and Mr. Laurens had screamed at each other, his voice was horse but his rage still fuming. Neither of them would back down. Not until the restaurants doors opened and a chattering group of people walked out into the night. The distraction only lasted for a moment but it was enough for the cold night air to blow some sense back into Alexs' head. He turned and saw that Eleanor and Martha were crying. It was about time all of this ended. John was clinging to him and still hadn't said a word. Mr. Laurens glanced at his shaking wife and devastated daughter and seemed to come to the same conclusion, he shot the one last dirty look.

Panic flashed in Marthas eyes and she tried to run in their direction, both parents firmly held her in place. "He may not be your son but he is my brother, and I have the right to say goodbye to him," she cried. Slowly her mother let go of her and she didn't waste another second. Martha escaped her fathers grip and stormed full speed in Johns direction, their younger brothers broke out running right after her. They hugged John goodbye, Martha whispered that she would always accept him, that they still were family and would reunite soon. Alex watched the scene and his heart felt heavy, he could barely imagine the pain John had to be dealing with in that moment. Eventually they had no reason to waste more time and all of them unhappily took a step back. They looked at each other one last time, not knowing when they'd meet again. John played strong for his siblings, Alex could tell. He told them not to get in trouble when he finally let go.

Martha bit her lip, she clearly had something else to say. Her brothers went separate paths when she suddenly darted forward once more. She flung her self around Alexs neck. He didn't know how to react and awkwardly patted her on the back. "You better watch out for my brother," she murmured in his ear. Alex huffed, "I will. Believe me, I will," he answered and they heard John chuckle sadly behind them. Just as he thought she was letting go he felt her hand reach for his arm. Alex looked into her eyes and felt piece of paper being shoved into his hand. He accepted it and nodded carefully, curious as to what that had been about. They separated and he instantly turned back to John and pulled him back to their car. All goodbyes were said and they needed to get the hell out of there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things will get better for them again from now on, I promise!


	22. Chapter 22

About an hour later Alex found himself sitting next to Laf at his flat, regretting everything. He had brought John home, the whole way back he had been unusually silent. No surprise after what had happened though. Alex had remembered the note Martha had passed him just before John had closed the car door. He called John back and together they unfolded and read the tiny piece of paper. It read:

'To John,

Please don't be worried about me and forget about them. They will try to prevent us from staying in contact, don't call my normal phone number. Call this number instead (0618/970406) it belongs to my prepaid phone and should be safe. -Love, Martha'

At least that seemed to cheer John up a little bit. He thanked Alex once more but it sounded horribly detached and cold. Then he took the note with him and left. Which lead to Alex sitting in his car on his own, not knowing what to do with himself. His emotions were a mess and he felt like driving right back and punching that asshole like he should have in the first place. The only reason he hadn't done that when he had the chance was that he didn't want to make this even worse for John. Never in his life had one of his plans failed so spectacularly. After all there was nothing left to be done at the moment, beside driving home and hoping that John didn't hate him in the morning. Alex just wanted to fall in bed and not do anything at all, he couldn't imagine how John had to be feeling and his mind circled around nothing else.

When Alex arrived at his place he threw his drenched jacket aside and without a greeting to Laf he went straight to the bathroom. He took a shower in the hopes that the warm water might calm him but he still couldn't focus. He got out of the shower and found something comfortable to wear. Absentmindedly he got dressed but didn't bother to dry his hair. He left the bathroom but before he could decide on anything concrete to do next, Laf stopped him. Lafayette stood in front of him with a stern expression on his face. He pulled him to the sofa and pushed him down without saying a word. The fact alone the Alex hadn't realised that his best friend stood in front of him spoke for just how exhausted he was. He wanted to protest but didn't find it in him to gather up his strength again. Weakly he complied and let Laf lead him. So that was how he ended up in that position. Expectantly Alex looked up at his friend, the expression Laf wore meant business and he knew it. He was proven right a second later when Laf began speaking: "Alex, talk to me. Now. I don't know what's going on with you lately, you're not making any sense. One second you're happier than I've seen you in literal months, and the next you're an absolute mess, doing your best to avoid people and with one crazy idea after the other," Laf said, as he handed him a hot cup of tea, he was far from finished though.

Alex mused that the tea meant that Laf had prepared this speech, which was in no way going to be fun for him. Worry got the best of Laf in this case. He sat down next to Alex, putting one hand on his friends shoulder, "You throw yourself into planning things, mostly dates, as a distraction. Don't look at me like that, of course I've noticed. A distraction from what though? As far as I can tell your life is going great. You just came out to your family, your grades are as high as they could be, you've made Jefferson question his life choices several times this week, and I don't know what kind of agreement you and John have going on but the way I found you two last week says friends with benefits very, very clearly. I mean that's what you wanted right?" Laf paused shortly and looked at Alex questioningly, "Something without the responsibility of a relationship, right? John is good looking you have to admit that. Alex I'm not trying to tell you that whatever is on your mind isn't a problem, I'm just trying to figure out what it is. I know from experience that you're not likely to just tell me, but believe me I will sit here with you and guess all day, telling me would be easier," Laf finished and leaned back on the couch with crossed arms.

For a moment it was completely and utterly silent in their flat. The kind of silence before a storm, the one that was far from calm. From the way he was sitting on the edge of the sofa with his hands clasped tightly together to the absent-minded, sad look in his eyes, everything about Alex gave away a core deep discomfort and nervousness. Thinking rationally Alex knew that he could trust Laf, but most rationality had left him a long time ago. It wasn't like he didn't want to talk to his best friend, he really wanted to, but for once in his life he didn't have the words he needed. Alex took a shaky breath and tried to hold on to that thought, to use it as his getaway for an explanation,

"I don't know what to say, isn't that ironic?" Alex laughed humorlessly. The only good thing was that he had a tendency to just keep talking once he started, and so he continued, "It's about John, I guess. Not that he did anything wrong, no, nothing at all. First I thought that maybe spending less time with him would end my confusion. But the thing is, I don't want to spend less time with him, on the contrary, I'd see him even more if I could. He's wonderful absolutely lovely. I had originally planned to end this joke after three days at most and now I keep finding more excuses to go on with this. I caught myself desperately looking for new reasons to let this go on for just another week, and I'm freaking out because I can't find one. Not one that makes sense at least. I might be able to convince John to go on with this for now, if he even wants to see me after that horrible meeting with his parents we just had. Even if I manage to convince him, this won't go on for forever and Im afraid of how it will end. I don't want this to end, what if I lose him? Even worse, what if I've already lost him?" He ended his monologue with fear in his eyes that he couldn't be bothered to hide.

Laf was biting his lower lip, unsure of how to reply, how he should break to his friend what he had guessed a long time ago. Eventually Lafs thoughts stuck to one thing Alex had said and he looked up with confusion and concern, "what do you mean, 'you could have already lost him'? Haven't you noticed the way he looks at you? I don't think there are many things he wouldn't forgive you." It took Alex some time to answer, partially because he was still trying to process the events of the day. He had calmed down a little and with mild regret in his voice admitted that he had yelled at Johns parents. He didn't regret getting in a scream-off with two homophobes like he hadn't met them before. He did, however, regret possibly making things worse for John. Those people didn't deserve his John anyway. His John. Was he even allowed to think that way? Alex summarized the rise and fall of his plan to win Johns parents over as short as he could, without putting any emotion in it. He ended with adding in the detail of how he got the bruises on his hand and wrist. His mind was elsewhere anyway.

When he was done with his explanation, Laf was speechless. Alex was starting to feel tired in every way, he was no longer tense and on edge but rather resigned and hopeless. He leaned back on the couch, locking eyes with Laf who was now sitting straighter than before and openly gaping at him. Laf got him to concentrate once more in this endlessly long night, he said, "Alex, what you did was really god damn brave, you realize that, right? Just think about how much worse this could have gone if you hadn't been there. John might need time after what his parents said to him, but you didn't mess up, his parents did. I bet John thinks so too. You really defended him. I mean, I wasn't there but that's what it sounds like. He must have been incredibly glad that you were there. All of those years of friendship and sometimes you still surprise me," he hugged Alex briefly, "what, no snide remark? Not even a little smile? Alex come on, you're getting lost in your own head again. I bet we can think of something to fix this -" he stopped mid-sentence when he saw the look on Alex's face.

Alex had gone through the events of that night and every other moment he had spent with John in his head, and finally, he understood. Now he saw what everybody else had seen the moment they laid eyes on him and John. It felt as if the air was being knocked out of his lungs and yet it made perfect sense. His eyes met Laf's and he could no longer ignore the most obvious truth. "I'm in love with him," he breathed.

Laf smiled, "only took you four weeks and five mental breakdowns to figure that out, well done." Alex sighed heavily, "how could I be so stupid," he mumbled under his breath before he continued more audibly, "this doesn't exactly make things easier though. What do I do? If he figures it out It'll look like I took advantage of the whole situation. I guess I did, but it's not like I meant to! Oh god I won't survive breaking up with him. Fake breaking up with him? Whatever," he groaned loudly. Laf took a deep breath, "I know this sounds far-fetched, but have you considered, you know, telling him? This is as much about him as it's about you," he sounded equal parts amused and annoyed. Alex looked at him as if Laf had announced that the sky was green with purple dots today. He was just about to answer when Lafs phone started ringing.

Laf picked up without checking who the caller was. Immediately Thomas' voice called through to them, sounding annoyed as always, "Is he with you? Hamilton, I mean. Listen, I know that we don't get along but this isn't about me or him, its about John. I'm seriously worried. When he got here he looked like he was going to faint or something, all pale and shaking. I don't know what happened but I think he has been crying? Seems like he's under shock. Obviously, he won't talk to me but I can't leave him alone like that. I tried to reach Hamilton myself already but he doesn't answer his stupid phone, so if you have any idea where he's at? His boyfriend needs him." Even the silence from Thomas' end sounded impatient. Laf might have been irritated but if so he was good at hiding it. He told Thomas that he knew where Alex was and that he would send him before promptly hanging up. Alex rushed toward the door, grabbing his jacket in the motion, Laf following right behind. He had heard every word of the conversation, there was nothing to be said. Every trace of tiredness was gone. He tried to remember whether John had appeared okay when he had last seen him. He cursed himself for not checking on him more thoroughly as they hurried towards Lafs car.

If Jefferson of all people had thought it was necessary to call him it must be bad. worse than bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally some important realisations :)))) I told you it would get better soon ;)   
> Let me know what you thought of this chapter!


	23. Chapter 23

They had agreed that too many people around him would probably only further irritate John, so Laf dropped Alex of at Johns' place and went to meet up with Hercules. While in the car they had briefly warned Herc via text. Laf would spend the night at Hercules place, waiting for news with him. Upon arriving Alex storm rang the doorbell, Jefferson opened and stepped aside to let Alex through without a word. There was no way to describe how worried he was. He rushed right towards the door to Johns bedroom and knocked. No answer from the other side. He knocked again and got nothing but silence once more. "John, open up. It's me, Alex. Will you let me in? Or come out? I'm worried, please say something?" He heard a soft sigh and then the door finally opened.

Alex had barely stepped inside when John pushed the door shut again, as if he feared somebody else might enter his room. Alex briefly wondered if Thomas had tried to get in before he called but quickly dismissed the thought as irrelevant. John stood before him with red eyes, still paler than usual and clearly uncomfortable about letting Alex see him like that. Alex didn't waste anymore time, he stepped closer and pulled John in his arms, holding him tight. They stood like that for a while, John leaned into him but didn't react otherwise. Eventually Alex took his hand and lead him to the bed. They sat down, huddled together as closely as possible. John managed a small smile despite his misery as he again leaned into Alexs comforting touch. "John, please talk to me. Let me do something for you. This is my fault," Alex said quietly. John shook is head, "no it's not Alex, don't say that. It's their fault not yours. I'm so glad you were there and I know it's selfish to say that because I shouldn't have dragged you in all of this, but I am. Can you forgive me? I don't want to lose you, god I can't lose you," he uttered helplessly. Alex pulled him even closer, "you won't lose me, you won't ever lose me. Okay? John, I promise you that I won't let you go." John nodded, holding back tears. They didn't talk after that. Alex took the time to text Laf that their suspections had been correct and that he'd probably stay at Johns place over night. He couldnt risk leaving John alone. Alex put his phone aside again and began to softly stroke Johns hair. Until John suddenly stopped avoiding his gaze and ever so slightly bit his lip. Then he looked at Alex, tears and emotions glistening in his eyes but there also was something else. Something new, a strange kind of anger maybe directed at life itself along with calm certainty.

The Next thing Alex knew was that Johns lips where on his. How badly he had wanted this and how guilty he felt now that he had it was indescribable. Alex fought down the guilt and locked it in the back of his mind. He kissed back and soon their tongues met. John sighed and that sound alone almost made Alex go mad. It was only when he felt John pull him down onto the bed that he realised where this was going. He managed to remove himself from John, carefully and unwillingly all the while cursing at himself in his mind. Alex brought some distance between them and tried to ignore the hurt expression in Johns eyes. He didn't break their contact completely and placed his hand on the side of Johns face, softly stroking Johns cheek with his thumb. "We can't do this right now. You'd regret it tomorrow, I don't want you to regret anything regarding us," he pleaded for John to understand. "I could never regret this, don't you get it?" John murmured and ran his hands up and down Alexs torso. "No, I won't take advantage of this situation," Alex said. He had trouble forming the right words and desperately tried to look anywhere, but at John who in turn leaned in closer again, "Don't you want this?" John half whispered seductively, almost kissing him but leaving it to Alex to close the distance between them. Alex did, but only briefly, "Thats the problem, I want this way too much. God you can't imagine how much I want this," he half moaned. "Why won't you take what you want then?" John purred in his ear.

Alex didn't reply for a long time. He couldn't think straight with John this close, he wanted this and apparently so did John, where was the problem? He thought in a daze and was suddenly very tempted to just give in. John would probably never want him emotionally but if he could have this atleast then why should he decline? Because declining would be the right thing to do. Because John wasn't in his right mind. Because if they did this now there was no way they would ever actually end up together, there were a million reasons to resist. Yet he simply didn't find it in himself to do so and his common sense was long gone anyway. Alex gave in, he kissed John roughly and with all the emotions he had pushed away and hidden from himself and the rest of the world. Once he had decided to just let go it was easy, not caring was always easier. John responded to the kiss happily, soon sitting in Alexs' lap, kissing and licking along his jawline and neck. Soft sighs escaped Alexs mouth without his permission but he wanted more, he wanted to be in control. The next second Alex turned them around and pressed John onto the bed. He wanted John to be the one who lost every bit of sense that night, to make him feel loved in every way. As he looked down Alex couldn't help but lick his lips. John lay below him, sprawled out on the bed with tousled hair, red cheeks and panting for air. It sent chills down his spine and when Johns eyes, all glazy with huge pupils, met his own he was certain that he had never in his life felt that amount of sheer want and lust, "You're so beautiful, do you know how good you look? What you're doing to me with how you look only?" Alex hadn't meant to say that out loud but his self control, if he ever had possessed any, appeared to have left him. Johns eyes went wide for a split second, then he pressed his hips against Alexs. Johns voice was low and raspy, "I'm all yours. Do with me whatever you want. I mean it, I'll do anything," he breathlessly promised Alex. They started kissing again, grinding against each other and Alex made full use of his position, pinning John down with his body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys think I should write the smutty part? Please let me know in the comments!


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, a big thank you to everyone who commented on the last chapter. Secondly, important warning ahead: Most of this chapter is pure and uncensored smut. If you don't want to read such content you can scroll all the way down to the last two paragraphs of this chapter, after this -> ****  
> Since these last two paragraphs are unusually short I have decided to upload the next chapter tomorrow.   
> Feel free to give any kind of feedback, especially since I've never written such a scene before. Have fun reading! :)

Johns scent was filling his lungs and captivating his mind. The rush of feelings and the contact of skin were outright addicting. There were way too many clothes, too many layers separating them though. Alex tugged on Johns shirt until he got the hint and moved away to strip it off. Their kisses turned sloppy and wet as both struggled to get undressed without parting for too long. Johns other clothes followed until he was left with nothing but his boxer shorts. Alex had only lost his shirt and now sat on Johns lap. He would take his time with this, he decided. They were both rapidly hardening but Alex ignored his own arousal in favor of touching Johns body where ever he could reach. Liking and teasing him was all he wanted to do for now. He continued just like that, grabbing Johns ass, stroking his inner thighs and doing his best to find all the sweet spots that got him rewarded with long drawn sighs and moans.

It was difficult to stay concentrated and on track while the most beautiful man he had ever met was trying his best to distract him. John would softly bite between kisses or move his hands somewhere else in the most unexpected moments. He drove Alex mad in all the right ways but that didn't mean that Alex would give in. He continued his teasing and petting until John was rock hard and begging him to be touched, to get on with it already. Alex smirked, that was just what he had wanted. He removed himself from John, who sharply breathed in at the unpleasant loss of contact, and got rid of his remaining clothes. Then he demonstratively looked John up and down paying most attention to the bulge in his shorts. He leaned in for a kiss again and ran his hands all over Johns body until he heard his breath hitch. Alex began stroking John over his last remaining layer of clothing with one hand and held Johns wrists together above his head with the other, "Leave your hands there. Only I get to touch you. Okay?" John nodded. Alex led go of him and finally pulled down Johns shorts. How vulnerable he was in this moment, how much he must trust him to consent to this, Alex mused. It would be a lie to say that didn't arouse him further.

John squirmed and twitched under every little touch but didn't move his hands away from where Alex had placed them. He kissed and licked a wet trail down Johns' torso before rubbing their erections together and stroking them both off with one hand. They both were gasping and their breathing was unsteady and ragged. Alex brought some distance between them, he kneeled in front of John and looked up at him, "I want you to tell me what you like. All the dirty little details, everything you dream about," he licked the length of Johns cock, "I'll continue my actions for as long as you talk. Okay?" he didn't wait for a reply and got straight back to work. He sucked at the tip and waited for John to get begin speaking. "Ohh god. All of this. Everything you do. How dominant you are, I didn't expect that but I like it way too much and-," he was moaning to hard to speak on for a second as Alex took him in his mouth completely and started sucking.

"I want to be yours. I want you to claim me as yours. Fuck me hard. Do with me whatever you want, as long as it's you I'll be fine. I want you inside me. Please fuck me. Fuck me." once he had gotten started John appeared to find it increasingly easy to spill every dirty longing or wish he had. Alex tasted a few drops of pre-come and sucked even harder. He made smart use of his tongue and swallowed until John didn't even manage to utter single words anymore. That was when he stopped, he slowly let it glide out of his mouth again and ignored the frustrated noises from above. "I got other plans for now, I can still make you come with my mouth another time. Did you mean what you said? You want me to fuck you?" he didn't even know where those words came from and he didn't care either. John seemed to like them, that was all that mattered. He agreed and without waiting for further instruction spread his legs and leaned back. "Lube is in the nightstands last drawer," he directed Alex with hoarse voice.

He got up to grab the lube as John tried to position himself more comfortably. Alex came back with the small tube and immediately began slicking and stroking his own dick with it. Then he kneeled onto the bed between Johns' legs. "You weren't supposed to move until I told you to," he declared as he started to stroke John once more. It was more for Alexs' enjoyment than as a punishment for John but before he continued, he edged John twice. Petting and licking until it would only take one more thrust for John to come and then stopping. When he was done with his games, eyes wide with lust, and John below him, all vulnerable and willing, he finally began opening him up. First massaging, then inserting one finger carefully. No matter how kinky the events of the night had turned, he never once had wanted to hurt John. He took his time and waited for John to start begging again, ignoring both of their erections. Eventually, John did and hearing him talk like that cost Alex his last ounce of common sense. He removed his fingers and used more lube then necessary, before positioning himself at Johns entrance. Alex pushed forward carefully, which got him even more begging and moaning as if he had needed any encouragement.

He continued, forcing himself to go slow despite the incredible pleasure and desire. He slowly filled John up completely and they moaned in unison. Then he started rocking forward and John moved back onto him. Alex's eyes rolled back in pleasure and he thrust forward, harder and harder with every move. The sheer lust was filling him up and he felt as if he simply couldn't move fast enough. Then he hit just the right spot inside of John and they both cried out. Alex kept the right angle to hit that spot again and again until neither of them knew where up or down was. They simply existed together. He felt the lust swelling up in him and pulled John closer. They lay chest to chest, kissing and moaning and holding onto each other. All he knew was that he wanted to be as close to John as he could, that this wasn't just about the pleasure. It was about emotions that had been locked away for way too long. Between thrusts and kisses, Alex stammered out one confession after the other, "do you know how beautiful you are? I want you to be as close to me as possible, god, even closer than that. I want all of you. Do you have any idea how badly I've wanted this? Wanted you?" Alex was no longer in control of his brain or his mouth. John wasn't supposed to know that he thought these things. If he continued John would figure everything out, that wasn't what he had intended. But all of it was just too good to stop, too good to be true.

John wrapped his legs around Alexs' waist. They both were so terribly close to finishing and he didn't want this to end yet, but there was no pushing it off any further. He looked John in the eyes and the way he saw him, the man he loved, in that moment, vulnerable and overwhelmed by lust, pushed him over the edge. Alex didn't have the time to warn John before he came deep inside of him. He fucked all the way through his orgasm and John clenched around him and held on even tighter, rocking back onto him and moaning his name. Alex reached between them to touch John and pushed deeper inside, kissing all the while. A few thrusts more and John came just as hard, all over the both of them. Alex waited for John to steady his breathing, kissed his neck and stroked out the last few drops of come before he pulled out.

******

It wasn't until a few minutes later that his brain clicked on again and the confusion and worry fought it's way back to his awareness. He had messed up more royally than ever before. What was he supposed to say? It had undoubtedly been the best night of his life but if it meant he'd lose John now then it unquestionably wouldn't have been worth it. Dammit, the whole idea, this whole fight, had been about not losing John. The latter had yet to say anything, and Alex awaited his words in fear, not daring to say anything himself.

"God, if I had known how good this would be," he paused and appeared to reconsider his next words, "I would have probably still been too shy to try and get here. But thanks to my moral breakdown..., Okay, let's not talk about that. Want to shower together?" Alex was immediately flooded with relief, that was the most normal response he could have hoped for in this absurd situation. Even though John was clearly trying to overplay any awkwardness himself. Alex nodded gratefully and got up.


	25. Chapter 25

John was the first to wake up. He and Alex were still cuddled up closely together. He felt completely at ease, the consequences had yet to make their way to his attention. Alex had one arm around his waist and was still peacefully asleep. John wondered what had woken him in his peaceful paradise when his phone rang again. Fate just wouldn't let him enjoy one quiet moment. He quickly and carefully untangled himself from Alex and the sheets wrapped around them without waking him. John grabbed his phone and frowned down at the contact name as he tiptoed out of the room. What did Thomas want from him this time in the morning? Okay, it was 11 am so maybe not the most unreasonable time to call somebody, but still. He accepted the call and went to make coffee.

"Hi?" his voice sounded uncertain, even to his own ears. At least Thomas sounded just as unsure, "Uhm, hey. I just wanted to check on you. Are you feeling any better?" Thomas asked. "Yeah, a lot. I'm glad Alex showed up," he said honestly. "I knew it was the right decision to call him," Jefferson sounded smug but not as annoying as usual. Johns mind latched onto the sentence a second later, "you called him for me?" he questioned and simultaneously wondered why he hadn't asked Alex why he had come to see him in the first place. "Yeah, didn't he tell you?" He bit his lip, avoiding that answer was going to be fun. John took his best chance and as vaguely as possible stated, "we didn't talk much." That should have worked, now a subtle follow-up question, "Where are you anyways?" that combination should throw Thomas off and cover his own answer.

What he actually had wanted to know was whether Thomas had heard them, that would be the embarrassment of the year. Thomas continued before John could drop another subtle question. "After I saw you yesterday, how miserable you were and how Hamilton of all people was the only one who could make you snap out of it... Well, I guess I realized that for me that one person would be James. Like you said, the whole hiding thing just wasn't working out, it's not like I didn't notice that. So I went to see him. There's enough shit happening every day, I don't need to bring down my own happiness. Or his, for that matter. So, we're official now. I guess I wanted you to be the first person to know cause I wouldn't have managed that without you," he sounded more thankful and content than John had ever heard him before but continued more seriously, "What about you though? Your family? What happened?" It was a relief that Jefferson hadn't been right next door. He also had to grin and shake his head at the rest of the story. It had only been a question of time.

John was happy for them, he really was. Yet he also couldn't help but wonder where he and Alex stood. "Long story, but to sum it up; I'm fine with my siblings but not with my parents. I don't know why I was even shocked, really. I'm just glad Alex was there with me. And Thomas? Congratulations, it's great that you finally came to terms with yourself. That was about time." "I know," Thomas sighed, "and believe me it's not easy to admit that."John shook his head at his roommates never-ending struggle to preserve his dignity. Or what he thought dignity consisted of at least. Instead of commenting on that however he had a sudden idea, "Maybe we could get coffee together sometime? The four of us I mean?"

"what, like a double date? You think me and Hamilton around the same table would work?" Thomas appeared to be questioning Johns sanity and he couldn't help but do so himself as he continued, "I'm actually pretty sure that the only thing you two would agree on is that that wouldn't work but wonders seem to be happening these days," contemplating what he had just suggested. He heard Jefferson chuckle, "in that case I have to agree to this, simply so I can still say there is nothing he and I agree on." He was aware that it was Thomas way of admitting defeat and decided not to push any further. Instead, he should start figuring out what he was going to tell Alex later on. "Can we talk again later?" It felt as if he could see Thomas shrug, "sure. Bye." John also said goodbye and hung up.

He put his phone away and placed the two cups of steaming hot coffee on the kitchen table. He hadn't heard Alex enter the kitchen but a second later strong arms hugged him from behind, "Good morning," Alex murmured in his ear. So much about getting time to think. John felt a kind of warmth rise in his chest that only Alex could inflict in him. He smiled, maybe things weren't as bad as he had feared after all, "morning," he replied and turned around in Alex arms to kiss him chastely. It didn't change that they had to talk, there was no avoiding it now. But he knew what he wanted and wasn't about to admit defeat without trying for his luck. He handed Alex a mug of coffee and kissed him again, "Would you like to get breakfast with me? At that cafe you took me to the first morning we spent together?" Alex appeared unsure, he must have been sensing that they'd have to talk about some things once they sat down to have breakfast together. John sighed, "please Alex. I know that this is strange but can you please just go along with it? For me?" Alex bit his lip, the way he always did when he was thinking too hard. Then he agreed. Both finished their coffee and managed to strike up a somewhat normal conversation about college and work they still had to complete.

The whole way to the cafe past in the same manner. It would have felt completely normal if it wasn't the last chance for John to figure out what he wanted to say. He noticed that Alexs' hands were unusually shaky. He felt as if he was walking towards his definite doom but he had to know the truth. They sat at the same table as they had the last time, he noticed absentmindedly. John had his plan straight and he'd go through with it even if it would end everything. He waited till their orders had arrived, his last compromise to push it off for just one more minute. His heart was hammering like crazy, he simply couldn't just blurt it out. He looked at Alex, how good he looked with the sunlight on his face despite the tired eyes. John thought about what it would be like to lose him. The pain would be unbearable, but it would pass, as unimaginable as that sounded to his own ears. Pain always did pass in the end. Then he thought about what being in a relationship with Alex would be like. To look at this beautiful man in front of him and tell him that he loved him whenever he felt like it. The thought alone filled him with longing. It was worth the risk. No matter how tiny the possibility seemed, Alex was worth taking risks for. He'd have to get everything out of his mind in the right order though, unimportant stuff first so there was nothing else left to say. Johns nerves lay blank, nonetheless, he took one last reassuring breath and began speaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I mean enough to leave you with that ending? Yes, yes I am. Sorry.  
> Next chapter might actually be worse. Or better, who knows? I don't 'cause it's 3am and I'm officially so tired I've turned into a zombie.
> 
> I hope you enjoy and please comment :)


	26. Chapter 26

"I actually managed to handle some things before my breakdown. First of all, I called my sister. We're going to meet up tomorrow. Also, she promised that she made our brothers read the right stuff, democratic pro-equality, and similar online blogs, you know? They'll turn out fine. In a few years time, our parents will either have to make up their minds or they'll be left with zero out of four children. Martha will come and live with me as soon as the chance presents itself, probably when she starts college."

Okay, family drama out of the way, he thought and was surprised by how steady his voice suddenly sounded. John continued, "Secondly, I shifted my trust fund to a different account which my father has no control over. I don't want or need that money but he'll be pissed when he finds out." That got him a small grin from Alex who despite the nerve wrecking tension still had his sense of humor. John saw Alex's smile, his heart fluttered and he smiled back. That was and would always be his reaction to seeing Alex happy. John straightened his back for the next part, "Thirdly, I made peace with Jefferson a few days ago. Don't act so shocked, he doesn't know a thing about us. I just genuinely think he should get a second chance. I recently found some things out about him and they changed my perspective on him, I guess."

Alex huffed, "what? that he's with Madison but keeps pretending like he's not? Don't tell me you didn't notice that?" John shook his head, the way Alex assumed he was the only one who wasn't completely oblivious to those small details never failed to amuse him, "I did know. They're official now by the way." John put more emphasis on the word 'they' than necessary. Alex's eyes went wide "what?" like usual he hadn't gotten Johns hint.

"Yeah, I tipped Thomas off that Angie told me that Madison was starting to get annoyed by hiding their relationship. This morning he called me when you were still asleep. Told me that the way I looked yesterday made him see that enough bad things happen anyway and life is too short to hide the good things because they might make other people uncomfortable. Yesterday he left shortly after you arrived and went straight to Madison. That was about time," John paused. He tried to gather his bravery for the next few sentences and barely heard Alex's "oh" in reaction to Jefferson's story.

He swallowed heavily, "Which brings me to why I actually wanted you to come here with me." He didn't get to finish and internally screamed when Alex interrupted him. He just wanted to get this over with. If he had to beg Alex on his knees to go out with him, fine, but this ongoing misery was unbearable. Maybe he could reason with Alex if he actually hadn't considered to date anyone in general. Reason with Alex. Laf would laugh at him if he could hear that, he thought bitterly

*Alex point of view*

Oh god, he hated where this was going. John would end their fake relationship and there was nothing he could do. He at least had to know for sure why John was ending all of this right now. He hoped that it wasn't about the last night. And yet for some reason that was the one thing John hadn't talked about, so what else was there left? Alex wanted to do something to get control over what was going on and because the longer he waited to say something the stranger it would get. He looked up at John with pleading eyes and interrupted him, "Do you regret last night? I shouldn't have led you on like that." It was the only reasonable explanation he could come up with for all of this, for Johns nervousness. Obviously John would be to polite to just kick him out of his flat, no he had to make him coffee and take him to get a nice breakfast together before he said anything. His heart clenched painfully.

John appeared startled and annoyed, "what? No, you didn't. I could never regret... Oh, whatever. I have to say something. And I have to say it now before my willpower leaves me again, so please don't interrupt me. Alex, I took you here because we were here when I first realized what you actually meant to me. From then on those feelings got deeper and deeper with every 'date' we went on. Last night, I don't know what last night was for you but for me, it felt so special. I'm not proud of leading you on the way I did. I hope you can forgive me, I wasn't in the best place emotionally and I thought I'd never have a true chance with you anyway. But the way you looked at me this morning, the way you treated me last night, the things you said, all of that led me to believe that there might be a chance for us after all. And goddamn it I want there to be one. I know this isn't how relationships usually begin, but what about us is normal anyway? What I was trying to say is, I want you to actually date me. Give us a chance, we could be great together. God if you'd only see what I see. Alex, I'm so impossibly in love with you, and I'm asking you to please, please give me a chance." It sounded as if John really had struggled with those words which were so far from what Alex had expected them to be.

He had been so certain that John was going to tell him that whatever there was between them had to end. That he meant nothing to John and they shouldn't meet again. It never once occurred to him that John could actually like him back. He couldn't fathom that what he heard was not actually just a version of words consisting of his greatest fear and deepest regret. John kept speaking as if he did not want to hear Alex's answer and sounded almost pleading like he was on the verge of tears. John loved him, and he loved John. Everything he had wanted had become reality. He had to say something and John still sounded so god damn miserable so he said the first thing that came to his mind, "no," he said before he knew what he did.

John closed his eyes and turned his head away. John couldn't know where he was going with this just because he knew so himself, Alex cursed inwardly. He grabbed Johns hand to get his attention back before all help came too late, "I don't want to date you but of course we can go on dates all you want. I want to call you my boyfriend. And I want you to call me yours. I want you to commit, cause John, that jealousy is killing me. I won't know peace for as long as there is the slightest possibility of somebody else stealing you away from me. I want you to be mine." There it was. That was all he had wanted to say and now that he had, the endorphins started kicking in. Suddenly Alex felt like he was on top of the world, high on the most dangerous drug of them all. John was right in front of him, his eyes were shining and bright, "Do you mean it?" he asked helplessly. Alex chuckled, "If I mean it? John, are you kidding me?"

Finally, finally, finally, he leaned in for their first real kiss. It couldn't have been more perfect, at their favorite cafe, half cold coffee and breakfast in front of them with the most ridiculous backstory any couple could have. When their lips met it felt like everything good in the world combined. John's lips were soft against his own and Alex was sure there was nothing he would ever enjoy more than this. When they did break apart he finally locked eyes with John again, "I love you too," he breathed. As if that wouldn't have been clear at that point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be one more chapter before I pronounce this completed.  
> I hope you liked the big finale, let me know what you thought in the comments! :)


	27. Chapter 27

Two month later

John let the door behind him fall shut and placed the last big cartoon on the floor. They wouldn't start unpacking until tomorrow which meant that he and Alex were done for the day. He looked around the apartment and smiled brightly. It was perfect for them, he decided. It wasn't the biggest apartment but the huge windows made it look welcoming and bright. He already liked it much more than his old place. Once all of the boxes were unpacked it would easily feel like home. Moving together that early on in a relationship might seem crazy to anyone who didn't know them, he mused. Yet their friends had simply shook their heads and announced they'd help them pack. John also suspected that not living with Thomas anymore would do wonders for their friendship.

Thomas had yet to come out to his parents but he wasn't as scared anymore, or as bitter. Which didn't change that he and Alex fought as soon as they were within 10 meters proximity of each other. They had finished packing Alexs stuff the day before. Laf was the only one who at first hadn't been happy about them moving together at all, until Hercules proposed they'd move together aswell. All of that lead to the amusing but chaotic situation of all of them staying at Lafs place at the time. Herc had already begun moving in and Alex wasn't completely done with moving out. John had joined them because Thomas had as politely as possible kicked him out. The reason being that Madison was going to stay with him permanently. Atleast that had prompted Thomas to help him pack up his stuff. Since his and Alexs new place wasn't furnished yet, and would only have electricity with the beginning of their contract in a week, they were stuck at Lafs place for now. None of them truly minded, it was fun most of the time.

 

Another month later

Angelica was brilliant, they could all agree on that. That night she once again proved it with an idea that sounded simple at the time. "Why don't you start an online blog about your stories? Like a modern newspaper directed at everyone in similar situations," she said between two sips of tea. Everyone had met up at her place for pizza and to celebrate the begin of semester break. While they spoke the conversation had drifted to all of the troubles they had gone through with their coming out stories. As the night progressed the confessions got more sinister from all of them. Maria, Peggy, Laf, Herc, Thomas, James, John, and Alex all had more then one story to tell. It was frustrating, John complained about how it was possible that all of them had in one way or another felt left alone. Sure everything was fine now, sitting in a friends cozy living room with Alexs arm wrapped around him and Pizza for dinner. As perfect as things were now, he had memories and worries which would hunt him forever.

That was when Angelica, who had silently listened until then, shared her idea with them. "You can't change what went wrong in your past but maybe you can help others prevent making those mistakes. And all of you like to write and seem to have too much goddamn energy since your always stomping on each others nerves. Might aswell use that energy for something productive," she shrugged.

Alex was swept up in plans and possible article ideas within seconds, and to everyones surprise so was Thomas. By the end of the night they had a first rough draft and several categories planned. Recent LGBTQ+ stories and history as well as their parallels in one section, another one on representation, funny stories or jokes and anecdotes added in between. Possibly a section specifically for teens and how to express themselves and feel like they're being true to themselves while still in the closet. They had too many ideas to get them all written down in one night. The only thing certain at that point was that they were going to name it 'Spectrum', which had been Peggys suggestion.

Alex would probably write the political stuff. With his usual firey energy the only thing they had to worry about was that he could accedentially start a revolution.

 

Christmas

Their flat was completly furnished and to John it felt more like home than any other place ever had. The online magazine was gaining followers rapidly, just an hour ago their abo count had risen to 800.000. Alex rushed past him with an enormous stack of papers and folders, his phone stuck between shoulder and head, loudly arguing with Thomas. Trying to gesticulate while holding the papers didn't mix. John rushed to his aid before everything landed on the floor. He silently scolded Alex, who was too engrossed in his newest idea for an article to notice. He wouldn't have it any other way, even if it was Saturday.

Just a week prior they had begun filming YouTube videos in addition to their articles, which meant more followers and attention but also more work. That evening they both all but collapsed onto the couch, it had been a stressful day at work. Dinner at the office with their friends after everything for the day was completed had been fun but not exactly relaxing. Some random comedy was playing on the TV but neither of them payed attention. John pulled Alex closer and kissed him softly. They kept cuddling for a while until John was struck by a thought, or rather a memory. The memory of Christmas with his parents. Nothing about that had felt nearly as good, on the contrary. Everyone was glad when it was over and they could stop pretending. That was how his parents had wanted it, the holidays as just another way of making sure everyone knew they were the perfect family. To impress important business partners and nothing else. They would have hated to see him like this, wearing a cosy sweater and comfortably cuddled up on the couch with his boyfriend. He would never understand them, just like they would never understand him, he thought sadly. Alex was dozing off in his arms but still noticed the shift in his mood. "Whats wrong love?" he murmured sleepily. John smiled, "Nothing. I love you." He pressed another kiss to Alexs temple and enjoyed the giddy warmth in his gut.

Several minutes of peaceful quite later he heard a distant metallic clicking from the hallway and looked up. Alex had fallen asleep in his arms. John tried to identify the noise without waking up his boyfriend, a second later Eliza appeared in the doorframe. Of course, none of their friends bothered ringing the doorbell ever, they just passed their second key around instead. He smiled in greeting but gestured for her to be quiet. She smiled back and placed a bunch of papers on the coffe table in front of them. John groaned quietly and let his head fall back, so much about getting some time off with his boyfriend. Eliza chuckled inaudibly, and waved goodbye. She halted for a moment, seemingly considering something. John didn't notice, he only had eyes for Alex. Eliza got her phone from her purse and tip toed around them. She snapped a quick picture before John realised what she was doing. She grinned brightly and now it was Johns turn to chuckle. He mouthed "send it to me" she nodded and left, animatedly typing on her phone. What strange friends they had, he wondered. A second later he heard his phone vibrate next to him and picked it up to look at the picture. He frowned slightly, Eliza had sent it in their groupchat and not to him privately. Whatever. It was a perfect mirror of their current position, cuddling with Christmas lights all over the room and blankets and pillows around them.

A few hours later that same night, or rather early morning, after Alex had gone to bed John was still awake and typing on his laptop. He had shifted the picture to his e-mail account and was now staring at the screen, brows furrowed as he tried to figure out what he should write in attachment. The mail was directed at his parents, sure it was a petty thing to do, but who was he to care? He had never gotten the chance to properly protest their methods, so better late than never.

'Dear parents,

Best Christmas wishes from your oldest son and rightful heir, along with his boyfriend. You might not accept me as your son but that doesn't change that I have your last name and blood and right to claim you as my family in public. Which basically means that thanks to our blog there are about 800.000 people out there who associate the name 'Laurens' with the equal rights movement, the lgbtq+ community, black lives matter and the ongoing fight for more gun control. I have been just as loud about my opinions as you are about yours, only that I am more successful in doing so it appears. Just thought you should know. Be as bitter and hateful as always, my life is going great. I'm in love and happy with my incredibly left orientated work.

Say hi to whoever you're trying to impress this year for me.

-John

He could only imagine how upset his father would be, it didn't even matter wether he was going to read the email or not, the picture alone would be enough. Martha would be delighted. Maybe he would annoy them every now and then, challenging their egos shouldn't be the worst. He read his text one last time before he finally sent it, feeling oddly satisfied. John stretched and turned of his laptop before finally going to bed.

 

A few days later

They spend new years eve at a high end restaurant, looking down on the city from the 46th floor. Surrounded by their friends, chatting and laughing. The first too early fireworks went off around them as everyone began counting, "10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4," Alex pulled him closer and they kissed passionately, "3, 2, 1." They didn't separate until several minutes later. Hundreds of fireworks lit up the night sky.

Life was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -The End-
> 
> Thanks to everyone who stuck with me and this story to the very end, I hope you had fun reading! And please know that since this was my first story ever, I very much appreciated every single comment and thanks to you guys will keep writing.  
> I can't believe that this is it, I've been writing this for literal month and now it's over (kinda surprised I managed to complete it to be honest)
> 
> Lots of Love!

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work in this fandom, I hope you guys like it. I will try to post a new chapter once a week. Constructive criticism is very welcome :) I haven't been writing for long and could use some tips.


End file.
